These last few posts of mine are pretty bleak. Maybe not without reason, but it's time for a change.
First, a mini WTF. I’ve got an appointment with my RE next Monday to talk about what might have gone wrong last cycle and how we can make it better for the next one. I emailed my IVF coordinator today to ask her if I could see my chart before the appointment and apparently there’s some huge rigmarole about sending in a signed release, which she thinks might take a while and yadda yadda yadda. I have to release the records to MYSELF? So I emailed back to see if I could just come in and look at it some time before the appointment. We’ll see how that request goes. Does it seem unreasonable to want to look at my chart before meeting with my doctor?
I’m feeling better after a really, really hard day.* It was way worse than I ever expected, but I think I’ve turned a corner (ew – Bushism!) and am feeling ready to deal with whatever comes next.
So…what’s next, then? Probably two months of DIY (one RE-mandated, one vacation-mandated). I’ll keep up with acupuncture and try to more strictly adhere to my acupuncturist’s diet and lifestyle suggestions. No dairy, no coffee and no cold drinks! Kind of harsh in the summer, but as we have to say to ourselves over and over, “It will be worth it once I end up pregnant.”
I am constantly amazed at how much I’m - and even more how much my fellow bloggers are - willing to put ourselves through. I know, believe me, I know, that the end result absolutely will be worth it, but I do wonder if I have a limit. Giving up ice cream and iced coffee over the summer is minor (sort of!), but won’t all these small concessions add up at some point? What if I just hit a wall? I’m really not very far along in my infertility journey, experience-wise, and I’m not feeling like I’m anywhere near the wall, but it really does loom out there in front of me.
For now though, I’m just going to focus on getting my brain and body ready for next time. It seems like the entire blogosphere is kicking off summer with a renewed fitness plan and I’m going to do the same. I went running today after work for the first time in a while and it felt so good! There was sweat, there was huffing, there was puffing. I set up these trackers to monitor how far I run and walk. They’re kind of dorky looking and I don’t really have a goal in mind for miles per week or month, but I just want to feel the need to update them frequently in a semi-public place. Gmaps-pedometer is the BOMB if you’re interested in tracking your travels.
I also ordered a new yoga dvd and replenished my wheatgrass supplement supplies today. GO HEALTH!
*My hard day was nothing like Suzy’s. She says she’s going away for a while, but I know she could use our support.