Monday, March 31, 2008

You give a guy an inch!

I told W that it was ok if he was grossed out by my cankles. He can't be appalled by my many chins, my fat thighs, or my generally increased girth, but the cankles are fair game. I mean, they really are aesthetically heinous and they're occasionally cartoonish in shape and size. So I had to laugh when today after work I revealed the beasts only to hear,

"Holy shit! Your cankles have cankles!"

Frankly he's right. They were extra-specially ugly today. All lumpy and stuff.

Other than that, things are still going pretty well. I can feel some serious growth, though. And I'm definitely getting more uncomfortable on a daily basis. I can't remember if I mentioned this already, but my doctor said my last day of work should be at 36 weeks, which is 4/25. He also said that he'd be surprised if I make it that far. On one hand I agree, because my clothes and shoes don't fit at all and getting comfortable at my desk is really hard, but then on the other hand what the hell would I do at home? I hate my couch right now, because whenever I'm home I'm on it. We did buy a rocker/recliner this weekend, but it won't come in until mid-April sometime. Maybe that will be the sign for me to quit work. When I have a big, fat lazyboy to sit in. Not that we got a lazy boy. It's from Macy's and not so big and fat. Super comfy, though.

I guess being home would afford me lots of time to clean the house. It's been sinking into a bit of a state lately. If I were home, I could tackle it room by room. I guess I'll just take it week by week for now. I did have a big plan of taking off a day each week to prolong my work life, but it hasn't worked out for the past 2 weeks, and in fact, I've been working long hours, including one 12-hour day from hell last Thursday. That was rough. I'm hoping to have tomorrow off. Cross your fingers!

I've reached the 32 week milestone, which I understand is a big one, but I can't find any info on exactly why. Anyone? So in between g00gle searches for the answer to that, I spend my time waiting for my belly button to pop. It gets a little closer every day, and when I laugh it pops in and out a little bit. (Video of this ridiculousness to follow). However, I'm pretty certain there's another part of me that's apparently (and quite unfortunately) going to be an "outie" long before my belly button is. Any guesses?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

No words

Please go support Busted. What is wrong with this world?

Sunday, March 23, 2008

31 Weeks.

When we moved to Mar1n County, there was definitely a big part of me that hated leaving the City, especially my beloved neighborhood, the Mission. So much good food, easy public transportation, the "cool factor" and did I mention the food? One thing I knew I wouldn't miss, however, is pigeons. Ick. Ever since I was attached by a flock of them at the SF Zoo as an 8 year old (they wanted my hot dog) I've had a healthy disdain for most birds and especially pigeons.

But now I'm sitting here on my lovely deck and what do I see? Well, here, see for yourself...


Right above my feet there. And sorry to subject you to those suckers again, but I just didn't feel like taking them off the comfy pillow just for the picture. There are actually 3 of the nasty things flying about and it's starting to make me think about heading down to the R0d & Gun Club to see about a bb gun. Of course I doubt that there's a R0d & Gun Club in Mar1n, and I've got shitty aim, so that's probably a bad idea. I'd probably hit one of the guys across the way having the bbq with the crappy music. I'm starting to rethink the idea...

Anyway, don't worry. I hate guns. And I'm lazy. So I'm not going anywhere. I just needed to vent about my annoyance at these obvious city dwellers invading my tranquil suburbia.

Oh jesus. Now my neighbor is out on her upstairs deck with her feral-looking shelter cat. It looks like it would like nothing better than to jump down onto me and claw my eyes out. I thought I was just going outside to blog and enjoy the view and now it's like Wild Fucking Kingdom out here!

Ok, so my little lady just kicked my cervix in sort of a "This blog is about us!" kind of way. Just a second, kiddo! Because first, I have to direct our kind readers to go see the Stickies. They have arrived!!! And they are insanely gorgeous. Congrats to the whole Sticky Family!

Alrighty then! To the Wonder Twins. I am 31 weeks today, which is so cool and so crazy. I can't believe it's already been over a month since I had the weird bout of contractions. I have barely felt any since then, and I've been feeling exceptionally good. SURE, my feet swell up toward the end of the day and SURE I fit in absolutely nothing but tent dresses and SURE I get violent attacks of reflux that leave me gagging and vomurping. But seriously, I am amazed at how good I feel. Just yesterday W and I took the dog up for a nice walk, probably about 2 miles, and then I came home and went swimming. We ran a few other errands, and then watched basketball. I even made dinner! I've been slacking in the cooking department lately, but since it was W's last night in town for a while, I thought he deserved it.

He's off to New York for the week for work. He'll get to hang out with my brother while he's there, so that's cool, but a week is a long time! I always kind of enjoy it when I get a night or two to myself, but a whole week? That's a lot. Aside from fetching me things, he's very helpful with calming my mini-freakouts. I have them from time to time about this whole parenting/twins business.

For instance, last week we had a breastfeeding class. Each couple got a doll to use so that we could practice positioning. The instructor gave me a 2nd doll and when I was trying to hold onto both of them it just wasn't working and I started to hyperventilate a bit. Just having W there to make me laugh a little bit helped diffuse the situation, but still! So scary. Of course it didn't help that the dolls were so disgusting that they reminded me of something an evil MIL would send as a shower gift. And the second doll she gave me had this most menacing Chuckie sort of look happening. He scared me. There were other women in the class clutching those dolls more tightly than if they were the babies themselves. Is it bad that I just set mine on the chair in front of me? They were seriously SO dirty that I was grossed out. I felt better when I saw that the couple next to us had laid theirs face down on the floor. I got the impression that the "clutchers" thought that their skills as a mother would be determined by how lovingly they held onto a dingy classroom prop.

So...not much else to report from here. The pigeons are still swirling.

Oh, here's my gut.

I had an ob appointment on Friday and I only measured 30 weeks, despite being closer to 31 and having measured 36 weeks at my previous appointment. I guess baby positioning and twins can really fuck with the measurement. I have felt them get way huger in the past week or so - their presence is just so much more obvious - so I'm not worried by the weird measurements, but I was freakishly hoping to be way over 40 weeks. I don't know why exactly. The doctor did say that my stomach looked "very big," however. I haven't had time to got to w.ebmd to look up that oh-so-technical term, but I'll just take it to mean things are as they should be...

Ok, really this time. Nothing else to say. Except that I don't want to go to work tomorrow... Kinda goes without saying, though, doesn't it?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Pretty, Pretty!

I wish I had a before, but all I've got is this after:

Yeah. That's my foot. YOWZA, right?

Last week it was my left foot that would get more swollen, now it's the right. I'm such an equal opportunity cankle-ist!

So, aside from hideous disfigurement, all's well in Wonder Twinville. My ob was very pleased with the lack of contractions (no meds needed since last week) and he said it wasn't even worth doing another ffn. Basically his argument was that even if it was positive they wouldn't do anything about it unless I started having more contractions again, so it could only serve to worry me. Since I worried even with the negative result, I figured I'd take his advice and skip the test this time 'round. I measured 36 weeks at the appt (I was 28w5d) and both babies hb's sounded great. After they brought in the giant cattle-weighing scale, I discovered I'm now up 42 mofo pounds. Holy crap. Although my right foot probably weighs a good 10 pounds all on its own.

Then we had an u/s on Monday. W wasn't able to be there, but my mom came - she was so excited. Neither baby would show their face, but she loved hearing the heartbeats, seeing all their parts and CONSTANTLY asking the tech, "Oh, now that's a cute little face, right?" To which the tech had to answer: "Um no, ma'am, that's his kidneys/femur/placenta" She wanted to see a face so badly! They checked my cervix and all that showed up on the screen was:

And there was much rejoicing. It's measuring over 4 cm. and is apparently suffering no ill effects from the repeated beatings its getting from my dainty little girl. She's moved around so she's sitting right on my cervix, with her head up in my right ribs. She weighs 2 lbs 15 oz and her brother has his head right next to hers, with his body kind of sideways off to my left. Hopefully she'll flip, because as Baby A, she's got to be head down for us to try a vag birth. My doctor is totally open to repositioning the lil man once she's out, especially since he's a bit smaller than her, at 2 lbs 12 oz. I was really happy to hear that.

My stepsisters gave me a shower on Sunday and it was so lovely. One of them lives in Stinson Beach and we had THE most incredible day. Here's a picture that gives you the feel of the afternoon.

And now, here's a picture that gives you the feel of my MIL's gift. Also incredible, but in a different way.

So if you're sitting there saying, NO, that couldn't possibly be a stained, homemade Cabbage P.atch doll, I'm sorry, but you're wrong! And if you're thinking, well, it was probably the only stained/used/otherwise vile stuffed animal or burp rag in the box, well - wrong again.

She really and truly sent her grandchildren-to-be a box of stained, nasty, smelly old stuffed animals and burp rags, NONE of which W remembers as being his as a child. That might have excused some part of this unfathomable idea. He thinks one belonged to his sister, but the rest are totally unfamiliar. And did I mention GROSS? They smell bad, they look bad and they are going in the dumpster. I have no clue what to write in a thank you note. She didn't include a note in her package, so I'm going to comb Google to see if that exempts me from my thank you note duties. What do I say? "Thanks for the rubbish"? "Glad I could help with your mold abatement program"?

So odd. I felt so bad for W, because she just HAD to send it to the shower where everyone else brought these beautifully wrapped new and pleasantly non-smelly gifts for the babies. Why expose everyone else to her madness. If she really thinks that it's nice to pass on these relics, then why not just send them to our house? The box, by the way was a good 2' x 2', so there are like 25+ sad little stuffed animals that are destined for the dump. Poor things. I'm sure they made some kid happy one day.

JESUS! I thought I was just going to post the cankle and a speedy quip about its nastiness! Guess I had a bit to say!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

I Thought I Was Done with the 2WW

My first 2ww in a long time is just about over. The post-ffn two week window will be closing tomorrow. Luckily I've got an OB appointment in the morning and I assume he'll do another ffn test, which will of course be negative once again and I'll get another 2 weeks of supposed relief. We also have an ultrasound on Monday. I invited my mom to come along and she is SO excited.

Despite the fact that my doctor and all the nurses swear by the reliability of the ffn, it really didn't stop me from worrying. I mean, why believe years and years of scientific research when you can just look inside yourself and freak the fuck out? Despite the mental anguish, I've been doing pretty well as far as contractions go. I do get more as the work days and weeks go on. Yesterday afternoon I was having them pretty much every time I stood up. Probably not the best sign. But I took the speed... uh, terb... and then spent the evening prone on the couch and was ok for the rest of the night. Holy reality marathon - American Id0l, Su.pernanny and then Project Run.way!

Best moment of AI, by the way? During one of the performances me thinking to myself, "Who is this girl?" and then Simon telling her that her biggest problem is her "massive lack of personality." YEEEOUCH! True though. Seriously.

I'm very interested to see what my doctor has to say tomorrow about me continuing to work. Even two weeks ago he was kind of frowny on the whole idea. I think I could be VERY easily convinced to give it up. Probably too easily, but honestly, why do this when I could be at home protecting the Wonder Twins. They're not expected to be at the Hall of Justice for nearly 3 more months, so whatever I can do to help them arrive on time, and not too early is a good thing. Nobody likes an overeager superhero anyway. I'm very lucky in that I would receive short term disability at 70% of my salary. Given the price of lunch in SF, it would be practically even! So we'll see how things go tomorrow. I've been trying to limit my work activity, but it's much harder than I imagined.

Each of the past two weeks I've been almost entirely contraction-free from Sunday to Wednesday, and then on both Wednesday afternoons I have started to get them. Yesterday's flurry was probably not so good. We'll see what today brings. I'm taking a PTO day tomorrow after my appointment. It should be restful, but for some reason I offered to have my mom, stepdad, and aunt and uncle over for dinner tomorrow night and my mom agreed! The aunt and uncle are visiting from New York, so it will be great to see them, but I'm not sure why this couldn't happen at a restaurant. Stupid! Stupid!! Stupid!!!

Ok - a couple other random things.

We finished their room last weekend. All I'm waiting for is the matching crib skirt to be shipped from Tar.get and I might try to make a little throw rug with this bit of extra faux fur I've got. We'll see if I get to that. But for now, we're done! (Bragging alert - I made the curtains. They are so freakin' cute. Yellow fleece with green polka dot ribbon tabs. The fleece is so soft and babyish! I heart them a lot. I only just learned how to sew, but I really like it.)

YES...those decals are the very same ones that Watson used. It's just a coincidence, I swear!! What you can't see is the changing table. It happened to be covered in debris from the decal application. I should go clean that up, huh?

As you may know, my boss and his wife are having twins as well - two boys for them. Firstly, she cried on the exam table when the ultrasound tech told them it was two boys. So sad. Apparently she's almost over it. She might want to hurry up that getting over it business because she's only a week behind me. Anyhoo... he'd shared some names with me. While not my particular taste, they were perfectly fine names. But then we went to lunch the other day and he said they were considering Trey and Troy. We had JUST the other day been laughing over a co-workers friend who is naming her twins Derrick and Erik. Fine names on their own, but...WHAT?????? So, I thought for sure he was fooling me with Trey and Troy. Little life lesson here. (One which I already knew, but clearly need refreshing on.) When people tell you the names they've chosen for their children you nod and smile. That's it. Do not say, "Ha! Yeah, right!" Because they might not be joking. So I tried (pathetically) to cover for myself by saying, "Well at least it's not as bad as Erik and Derrick." And he asks why. I respond that they're marginally better because they don't rhyme. He counters that they do in fact rhyme. Trey and Troy. He even said it several times to demonstrate their rhymingitude. So I tried to explain the difference between alliteration and rhyming. Sadly, it was lost on him. LUCKILY he mentioned the names to another co-worker and she outright told him they suck together. One of them is fine, but together? Ew. I think he's starting to get it. He might still think they rhyme, though.

Ok, one final note. I have a cousin who's about 10 years older than I am. His wife doesn't get along with his parents that well, so they tend to stay in LA for the most part, so I haven't really seen him much since I was in high school. He was at my wedding, but do you really talk to people at your wedding? It was such a blur. So, anyway, after several IVF cycles, they finally had a baby in November with a surrogate. I'd been remiss in my Congrats to him, so I just sent him an email saying how cute all the pics I've seen are and yay you guys and all that. He wrote back and I had to share what he said about parenthood because it's awesome:

"Parenthood is more amazing than I imagined. People talk about the work and responsibility of having a child and that's what always stuck with me...but it's this incredibly indulgent pleasure. I feel like I get way more out of it than I could possibly give. It's like waking up to a miracle every day."