Monday, November 26, 2007

Scared

Is there some point at which the idea of becoming someone's mother is more than just a reason to freak out? I don't mean that it has to be right now, but I just wonder if it ever becomes real. Because at this moment it seems so incredibly far from it. And even if I did believe that it would happen, then what? What do I know about any of this?

Often when we're schmooping it up to each other and generally marveling over the twins, W will tell me that I'll be the best mom ever. I truly wonder why he thinks that. Maybe he's just saying it to get some? I mean, I'll love them like crazy, and I can cook, but I'm pretty sure there's more to it than that. And even the initial part I think I could handle. Diapers, sleep schedules, breastfeeding... but what about when they can talk? Or worse, understand!

That's where it gets really frightening.

I can read about how to be healthy during pregnancy, or how to pick out the safest car seat, but I don't think there are any books or magazines to help me figure out how to be someone's mom.

14 comments:

millie said...

I don't have any advise or words of wisdom for this but I'm sure it will become real. And you'll be great at it.

So glad the nt stuff all went so well.

Amanda said...

Just the fact that you're worried how good of a mom you'll be says volumes. You care, and that's the most important part (jmo).

(((hugs)))

Waiting Amy said...

As a mom, I can tell you ... you already have the key thing you need.

"you love them like crazy" -- the rest will come.

Fertilize Me said...

not l ike i am speaking from experience.but i agree with amanda. if you are asking these questions, i think general well-being and concern make for good mothers

Kate said...

I feel the same way....

Courtney said...

I agree with what everyone else has written here. Trust in yourself. You cared enough to create these two wonderful beings, and that caring nature will probably multiply a million fold when they arrive. :)

Diana said...

Have faith, you have put so much effort into making these little ones that the rest will all fall into place.

Portia P said...

No experience to pass on, but from watching my (more fertile) friends, it seems to be just a matter of taking it as it comes.

Like the others say - if you love them loads and don't overstress then you're pretty well there.

BTW - well done on the scans. So exciting!! xx

Ms. Planner said...

E - I only know you through your blog - but I think that not only will you be a great mom, you'll probably win the title of the coolest mom on the block. You are so positive. So filled with life and vitality, I feel like I am sometimes living vicariously through you because I am in awe of your constant state of being so happy. I have no doubt you'll be able to roll with the challenges of motherhood.

Baby Step said...

I bet there are books, but do you really want to read them? I think the most important thing is to love, love, love and make them feel safe and secure and teach them good from bad. You will do fine. It will come naturally. (Not that I actually KNOW what I am talking about!)

The Dunn Family said...

I think it's something you worry about always. Even when they are here. Before my twins arrived, I worried about being able to take care of them. Once I figured out I could do this baby thing, I started to worry about them when they were older. How to deal with kids in school, and issues that will come up? Will I know how to parent right?

All you can do is take it one day at a time. We are human, and we will make mistakes.

But like so many other people said, the most important thing you can do for your children is love them, and I think you already have that part down.

Delenn said...

Love them and realize that they become their own person as they get older. If you remember that each child is a different human being, you learn what that individual child needs in its life (whether to be more strict or more lenient, etc.). Its truly a learning experience and one that you are totally ready for, esp. since you are asking these questions...

Geohde said...

I am quite sure that you'll be just great.

J

Malky B. said...

Love them, don't spoil them too much, praise them and be there for them. That's about all we can do. Also, try to set a good example and teach them right from wrong.