Monday, August 6, 2007

A picture is worth a thousand gut punches

So we're back from our vacation and even though we had a fabulous time, I am always glad to come home. I'll post more pics in the next couple of days but in the meantime, here's one of my cousin and I in between swims. Trip highlights included:
  • amazing weather
  • perfect lake temperature
  • my best golf round EVER (including a chip-in birdie!)
  • a beautiful wedding with free-flowing basil mojitos
  • a hassle-free trip home
The only hitch in my personal giddyup is that my friend had her baby today. I'd been waiting all week for news, since she was due on 7/29. I had a feeling that although I've been ok with her pregnancy, I would not be as able to handle her actual parenthood.

I was right. Her husband sent two sweet pics of lil Zoe which I cooed appropriately over, and I scrolled down to the last picture which was my friend holding her with her husband smooshing his face into the two of them. Possibly it was a nice picture, but I couldn't really look at it and I closed the email immediately.

This is my best friend. Her first baby. And I can't even look at the picture. Somehow the baby by herself is one thing, but together with her mom is too much. Ugh. I emailed back saying she should just call me whenever she's ready, but I forgot about the fact that I might not be ready. I need to write out a list of questions or something for when she does call - any suggestions?


So far nothing to report on the bcp's. No side effects or anything. I got a lovely call halfway through our trip from the RE's office reminding me that we owe them nearly four grand for the next cycle. WTF happened to the buy-one-get-one plan?? Well, ICSI and lab fees and all sorts of other crapola mean we owe more. I should have known. There's no such thing as a free IVF (for those with shitty insurance, anyway). I also need to order my meds, which I'm sure will be more than last time. Goodbye house downpayment savings... Nice knowin' ya...


Carrie said...

I'm sorry your finding the situation with your friend so difficult. It really is hard though. I think it is a double whammy when something like this happens. We find it so difficult to deal with and then on top of that, we find it so difficult to cope with our feelings. No one wants to feel this way towards their friends.

I hope it becomes a little easier soon.

Amy R said...

Hey Erin, welcome back! I know how you feel. I was so thankful when one of my good friends who called right after her baby had another call from her mom during our short conversation. I did the appropriate ooo's and ah's before having to hang up- I feel like a jerk but I haven't called lately to check up.

Sarah said...

well babies are one thing, hard not to be suckered into their pure, helpless, tiny-ness, but the whole perfect happy family picture thing, a bit harder to take. i totally understand.

Geohde said...

I can relate. We have our account$$ meeting monday. fun.