Friday, August 31, 2007

And the hits just keep on comin'

Yet another friend is pregnant within about two months of trying. I'm sorry, Fertility Gods? Did I do something to piss you off? I mean, fine, my own body has failed me for the past four years, I get that. But why must I be bombarded with tales of my friends getting knocked up with such ease? Seems kinda harsh, frankly. I know I gave you absolutely no thought for the first 30 years of my life, but I think I've kind of made up for it in the past four, don't you? You've had my attention pretty much 24/7 lately. Is it too much? Am I too clingy? I just need to get something from you and I'll back off. I swear. Just a little something to let me know that you know I'm here. Trying. Really fucking hard. Am I trying too hard? Should I be playing hard-to-get? I think it's a little late for that now, but I'll do whatever it takes. I want a baby. Now.

I know my desire for a kid shouldn't grow just because I hear about other people getting pregnant. And it's not that it's growing. It is intensifying, though. And constantly brimming on the surface, ready to reduce me to a blubbering mess at the drop of a hat (or a pg announcement, I guess). I just want it so bad.

9 comments:

Jen said...

I totally feel your pain... My SIL got pregnant because birth control was too expensive. She realized she was preggers because smoking made her sick. I could go on.

And no it's not mean, especially if she knows the heartache trying to conceive has caused you. Or if she throws out the standard, "When you get pregnant, you'll just appreciate it all the more."

Fertilize Me said...

Oh the pain. I am so sorry - good luck with your "IVF weekend"

Reproductive Jeans said...

Ugg, I can just feel that pang in my gut for you. I am so sorry....

Carrie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carrie said...

I'm sorry, sweetheart, this is hard. I hate it for you too xx

Sorry I deleted too, I called you sweatheart, and tha's just not nice!

Thinking of you this weekend.

Diana said...

I think your response to her was perfect. As a friend she should be happy to take a little of your rain on her parade. She should understand. You might even want to give her a touch of credit? Maybe she told you over IM so you could respond how you wanted? You know instead of in front of a group where you have to just stand there with a deer in the headlights look?

Enjoy your IVF weekend, you are that much closer to becoming a mommy!

Geohde said...

Yes, many of my friends have fallen pregnant the first try. SOme of them are gearing up to try for pregnancy number 2. Being lapped really brings it home that I am absolutely, without a doubt INfertile.

urgh.

My Reality said...

I don't think it was mean at all.

One of my best friends got pregnant the month before she wanted to try because she wanted her baby to be born in June. She came to me upset, her husband had even pulled out, because she had a May due date. I just told her to be thankful she was pregnant and to suck it up. She apologized and agreed I was right. It is unfair that it is just so easy for some people.

chicklet said...

I think your response was great - take that you easily-impregnated bitch! Sorry they're all around you:-(