Well, I think for the most part I'm out of my funk. I've just been trying to focus on the day to day business of IVF, organizing all my meds and supplies, perforating my abdomen, and trying not to think about the end result. Hopefully I'll feel better after my u/s on Saturday. I'm so curious to know what's going on in there!
I've been having fun with this time off. I took my dog to the beach a couple times and went hiking with a friend on Mt. Tam yesterday and I finally went grocery shopping for the first time in probably a hundred years. But other than that I've been spending way too much time on the interwebs. I've been doing a lot of reading on donor eggs, which I know is so wrong to do while in the midst of a cycle with my own eggs. How do I stop?!? Luckily, I start a temp gig tomorrow that lasts just through the end of next week. It will be a nice diversion without being too stressful. I only have to work a half-day on Friday, which is perfect because we're going to the Greek Theater to see Wilco on Friday night and I cannot wait! They're my favorite band ever, and it's been over a year since I saw them last, which is way too long. The half day will allow me to go to acu and give the pooch a proper walk before we go out. Then this weekend we've got friends in town, so that will be another helpful distraction. Unfortunately last time these friends came to town, they were overwhelmed with the amount of walking that a visitor to SF tends to do, and they pooped out on us a lot, but hopefully this time they'll be prepared.
Any thoughts on what to do about my DE-research tendencies? I've got this inner struggle going on. Half of me thinks I should visualize success this cycle, and stay positive, but then the other half wants to protect me from being totally let down, so I get all pragmatic, thinking I should be preparing myself for the next thing. AAAGH! I really want to do the cheerleader thing and stay positive this time 'round. I do! But then I remember the soulcrushing single line the morning of my beta.
Speaking of that, now that it's been a few months, want to hear a funny (kind of) story? So I woke up at 4:30 that morning. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep again until I POAS'd, so before fully opening my eyes and brain, I went to the loo. I peed in a cup, got the stick and held it in there for the proper length of time. I pull it out and look at it and....nothing. Not even the test line. So then I scrounged around for more sticks, and found two of different brands. I dip those in and pull them out and then got the real news. Turned out I'd been looking at the first one upside down. How much of an idiot can a person be? So then I got 3 evil one-lined sticks to tell me the news. That part wasn't so funny.