Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Limbo

This is such a weird time in the life of the infertile. I'm on CD6, so for the next week or so, there's not much I can do to help my own cause. Yes, I can eat better, avoid coffee and booze and do nice things for myself like fertility yoga, nice dinners with W and walks with our dog, but beyond that it feels like my wheels are just spinning waiting around for Sexfest '07 (our last-ditch attempt to evade IVF). I suppose we can always practice. Or I could spend some time checking my cervical fluid. That's always fun.

If I had any self-control, this would be the perfect time to maybe take a mini-break from the IF blogosphere and bulletin boards and books, etc. In fact I'd suggested just that to myself this morning, but clearly that's not going so well, since here it is before noon and I'm writing a post.

It's just kind of addictive. There's so much information out there, and I'm a total glutton for that. And even better is the support I get by reading that other people are going through the same things I am. Like Sticky Bun who wrote this post describing exactly how I feel about IVF. Or like Carrie who's having her last (nearly) natural cycle before IVF - just like me!

The great thing about reading all these blogs is that I get a chance to root for everyone else. I see a pregnant woman on the street and I seethe. But when I read about someone getting a long-anticipated BFP I couldn't be happier. Partly because the woman on the street probably got pregnant by accident or in her first month of trying or some such bullshit, partly because I know the struggles my fellow bloggers go through and mostly because their success gives me inspiration.

The thing is, I'm not always the kind of person to be inspired by the successes of others. In fact, just this weekend I was golfing with W and we were paired up with a father-son duo who apparently came right from the PGA tour. They were freaking awesome. Of COURSE it was the day my pitching wedge decided to shit the bed.

When they made good shot after good shot I wasn't happy for them. Once the dad sent his drive into a tree and that made me smile inside. And a few times the son came up short on his putt. That was pretty cool.

Relevant? You decide. A nice chunk of Limbo used up not making a point? Absolutely.

3 comments:

Carrie said...

I hear you. I HATE the beginning of a cycle, the days just waiting to ovulate, obsessing, checking etc It drives me mad.
At least at my fertile (I use that word loosly) time I feel I am being proactive and the two week wait may be hard but I know we've done what we can and it's in the lap of the gods.
Every month I also have this fear that I might not ovulate. It's never happened but I get really, really stressed about it. In fact I'm surprised the stress doesn't stop it.
No, you are right, the run up to ovulation is truly awful.

Sticky Bun said...

Thanks for the shout-out. :-)

And, I SO hear you--blog checking and researching is addictive. And, at the beginning of the cycle it is so hard. I'm actually CD6 also...I do have my shots to keep me busy (lovely), but otherwise it does feel like limbo. Nothing to do but wait...

Helas...here's to both of us avoiding IVF by getting an elusive bfp THIS MONTH.

The Town Criers said...

It's more addictive than gambling. At least with gambling, you don't spend your non-gambling hours still reading about gambling. At least I don't think you do... Must research this to know if I'm correct. But you get the point.

Hang in there.