Eddie & Erin, BFF

Yesterday afternoon I went to LabC0rp to pee in a cup for the drug test required for my new job. I'm pregnant, so this should be easy as pie, right?

Um...no. I purposely didn't go to the loo before heading to the lab, and once I got all the directions and the little cup from Edward, my lab tech, I was more than psyched for the opportunity to "go" for it.

Except I couldn't! I did pee a little, but because the receptacle was so narrow, most of it missed. So I waited, sure that more was to come. I mean these days I pee about every 6.7 minutes, so it wouldn't be long!

Or so I thought. Finally, Edward comes and knocks on the door to ask if I'm ok. Humiliating! (Of course, he was probably thinking I'm somehow swapping out my smack filled urine with the "clean" sample I snuck in or something, but honestly I haven't taken any fun drugs in YEARS!)

So, I'm forced to admit my failure and shamefully emerge from the room with my 1.2 millileters of pee. He tells me to drink some water and try again in 20 minutes. So I do.

Was my luck any better this time around? Nope! Almost nothing comes out. It was so freakin' frustrating! After my second flop Edward tells me just to come back the next day. Just what I wanted to hear. Ugh!

When I turned up this morning, Eddie (I mean, at this point we're pals, right?) yells out from the back, "Oh, is that Erin? Come on back and try again!" This gets me more than one odd look from the other people in the waiting room.

I had pounded a huge glass of water before leaving home, but do you think I could put any of it into that motherfucking teeny ass cannister? No. Well, not much. Not enough to make it to the minimum line, anyway.

Holy cripes. Now I'm embarassed, frustrated and starting to wonder just what the eff is wrong with me. I skulk back out the waiting room, have 4 more glasses of water and read my book. Eddie then brings me a glass of warm water, and I laugh thinking of that old slumber party trick, but no - he wants me to drink it. I do, and wait, and finally I told him I'm ready, but that I think the small cannister is what's getting to me. I think the eensy weensy target was messing with my head.

Magically Eddie provides me with a giant Solo-beer-keg-esque kind of cup. Now we're talking! I head right into the bathroom and thankfully am able to march out triumphantly head (and plentiful urine sample) held high.

Eddie's reasoning for not offering the bigger cup from the very beginning is that it doesn't have a lid and he doesn't want to smell the pee. From a man who spends his entire day handling urine sample cups (with plenty of pee on the OUTSIDE), flushing the toilet for people post-sample, and generally working in the nastiest smelling office I've ever had the displeasure of visiting twice in 24 hours this seemed a bit finicky. Now, this could be because I'd spent way too much time in said stank ass office, and I was peeved (ha!) that this easy solution hadn't been presented sooner.

So, after much hullabaloo, all's finally well in the drug test department. Thanks to the 8 million liters of water I drank, I've been peeing even more than usual today. Good thing, because other than that, I've got NOTHING TO DO at this temp job. Nada. So insane. I arrived late today and took a two hour lunch with my cousin and no one had a clue! That's certainly nice, but for the many, many hours in between, it is SO BORING. Only one more day to go and then I'm taking next week off.

Woo to the Hoo!

I got the job! Woo hoo! I'm gainfully employed again! Or at least I will be on October 8.

(Am I really cheering about this?)

Yes. Yes, I am. It seems like a great company, my new boss appears to be very pleasant and I'm getting a nearly 50% raise from my old job. All very good things.

PLUS, I'll have much better healthcare than I would have if I had to stay with W's insurance. Kaiser's great if you sprain an ankle, but I am psyched to be a little choosier about my ob. MY OB!

So I'll continue my hole-punching gig for next week, then take the first week of October off to hang out with my mom and then with W's parents. I expect them to give me some good material for the blog, so just keep those reading glasses handy!

2WW Redux

Oh what a day!

It all started with an email to my friend about how I wasn’t going to stress about getting an earlier appointment and I would just “bask in glee.” Ok, that is just fucking hilarious because not 2 hours later I was smack dab in the middle of a total freakout. I don’t know exactly what brought it on, but it was crazy. I ended up emailing the nurse at my RE’s telling her a little bit about my freakout and beating wimpishly around the bush to ask if they ever let people do earlier ultrasounds. Olga, the nurse who looked after me during my retrieval sent back a really nice email about how things were looking great and while I could come in for another beta if I want, they really discourage earlier ultrasounds because it’s hard to see anything and they can add stress rather than relieve it.

At the end of her email she said “I know this waiting period is hard but you honestly are in very good standing for a viable pregnancy.” As I read the words “viable pregnancy” I started crying. Happy tears, of course, but they were kind of unexpected to say the least. I guess I’m a little hormonal! I also had to restrain myself from throwing W’s laptop across the room last night because he kept watching these annoying clips from You Tube. Normally I’m all over the You Tube, but last night I thought I’d kill him. Then later he was wrestling with the dog and that was bothering me. I’m usually pretty even keeled, (despite my profane outbursts here, of course) so these ups and downs are kind of strange. But good-strange. I want to feel different. I would also like to feel a little more secure about this pregnancy, but I guess that will have to wait until October 5th. Which is 2 weeks away, hence the title of this post. If only Leah had a special u/s stick for me to pee on!

In other news, at lunchtime today I had my second interview at the real estate firm from last week. Things have juuuust a bit since I had my first one, but I think I’d still like the job. 9 months is a long time and unless we hit the lottery (Note to self: Start buying lottery tickets.) I will probably have to go back to work at least in some capacity. The company is supposedly very family friendly, although I’m not sure if that extends to people informing them about a month after they start that they’ve got a bun in the cubicle… They also offer the curious “Maternity Management” so we’ll see what that’s all about, as well as part-time/flex hours and job sharing. There are two open positions in different departments and at today’s interview I met with people from both groups. I definitely have a preference of the two. It wasn’t so hard – what would you prefer “Churning out lease agreements” or planning fun events and creating a newsletter? My dream job is to be “Company Party Planner” so I’m hoping I’ll be able to move forward with the second position. Plus I got a good vibe from the guy who would be my boss, and that’s always a good thing. I already heard back from the HR woman that the people from both departments liked me and I told her my preference. Now I just need the official offer! It will be really tough leaving this temp job, though. I mean, who is going to three hole punch these papers???

I did warn that there would be mad ramblings here, so if you’ve made it this far, at least you were warned!

Beta Numero Dos

I just got the call and my second beta is 558. That's a doubling time of 36.76 hours. This time it was a different nurse who called and I could actually feel her smiling through the phone, so that was nice. She also said what a great number it is. Three cheers for enthusiasm! I'm still trending in the twin range on betabase.info, but hell, I did name those little suckers the Wonder Twins. I guess maybe they're just starting out as the most obedient and mama-pleasin' kids on the planet?

Now comes the really hard part. I've read about these long waits for the first ultrasound and thought, "Shut it sister, you're pregnant, what's your beef?" But now I see! At my RE they bring you in at 7 weeks which would have been sometime the week of 10/8. W's parents are coming to town 10/3 - 6 so I pleaded with Nurse Nicety Nice to move it up and she did! So I'll go in the morning of 10/5, and will hopefully see wonderful things which will make it a breeze for me to serve as chauffeur to W and his 'rents for a day of wine tasting.

Until then, feel free to visit here for the ramblings of a happy, slightly nervous, but HAPPY girl!

Tsk! Tsk!

I was so excited to go to my beta appointment on Sunday morning, especially since that morning I’d peed on two more sticks and despite a middle of the night trip to the loo, both the FRER and the digital came up positive almost immediately. So I was feeling good about the trip and was excited to share the news with people who actually had a hand in it.

So, once we’re safely out of earshot of any other patients, I tell the nurse (who I was pleased to see was the one who’d been at most of my appts) about my good fortune and after a little nod, there is almost NO reaction aside from saying, “I had a feeling you’d do that.” I knew that they might be nonplussed about a pee stick, so I had been totally honest and told her just how many sticks had given me the thumbs up (5). She is none too impressed. Asks me about any symptoms, I tell her (round ligament pain, sore boobs) and then she says, well that could be the prometrium, you know. Um, yes, but HELLO! I’m pregnant. Can’t you give me a smile or something? And “I had a feeling you’d do that”??? All scoldy like? I thought we’d bonded, man! And all along I’d been planning to test on the morning of my beta. I was just hurried along by Ms. Leah T. Stickpusher is all. I know some people don’t do the hpt’s, but I’m sure we POAS’ers can’t be THAT much of a minority, can we? Are we just a small band of urine cup wielding rebels wreaking havoc with RE's offices across the land?

Nurse Killjoy makes a few notes in my file and it’s on with the blood sucking. I left a few minutes later feeling a bit sad about her lack of enthusiasm. Luckily I had enough of my own and I was over it by the time the elevator hit the ground floor.

Then later in the afternoon when another nurse called to give me the results she said with a smidgeon of disbelief, “Well it looks like all those tests you took were right.” Um, first of all – DUH! And second, did they make a note of just how many I took? And the way she said it made it seem like I was being naughty. Maybe I have an RE demerit now (or 5).

Anyway, does anyone else ever get scolded for POAS’ing?

Beta results are in!

I just deleted a long ranting post about how the nurse promised me I'd hear by 2, and they were late and blah di blah who cares about that?

230. 14dpo.

Kind of twinny, no? Must do research to appropriately freak out.

Lest you misunderstand if I'm freaking out good or bad, I guess it's really neither. I'd certainly prefer a singleton, but I'm happily accepting babies in any and all quantities. (really it can only be 2.) (Unless one split.) (Holy fuck!!)

All in all fab news. Thanks so much for all the well wishes!!!!

Circle of Life -Digitally Enhanced

My mom had been trying not to tell me about Cody's illness until I was through the 2WW because she didn't want to add stress to my life. She told W, though, who of course promptly told me. No way should she go through this without me.

Once we began talking about it She sweetly offered that Cody would send us down a little blond baby. I didn't think he'd be gone so quickly, but he's failing really quickly, and they're putting him down this morning. I haven't told her anything yet, but she does know she'll hear one way or the other on Sunday. I felt like she should have some time with her grief, and then I can whack her upside the head with this piece of good news.

I'm moving onto a digital test for my next one. The idea would be to wait until tomorrow morning, but I really don't know if I can make it that long. We'll see... In the meantime, thanks for all the happy wishes!!!!!!!!

So, yeah, wasn't so able to wait until tomorrow. I just took a digital test and I am

P!R!E!G!N!A!N!T!

Holy motherfucker. Does it mean I'm going to be a bad mom if I forgot my prometrium supp this morning?

Uh... Ughpdated.. Again with pic and further speculation

No use beating around the bush.










This is 8dp3dt. I don't really have words. I've never been pregnant.

Until today.

I'll update tomorrow with a new stick and a (hopefully) darker line.

9/14 The line this morning? It is not darker. It's there, but it's a bit lighter. Could the trigger still have been in my system, 13 days later? I highly doubt it. Was it a chem? Maybe? Did the fact that I had to pee in the middle of the night screw up my FMU? I'm hoping so. More tests to come...

Check out Leah! That stick pusher is knocked up!

Here's the picture of today's stick. You're going to need to squint to see the line, but it's there.
I did notice that my pee was much darker when I tested last night than it was this morning. Kind of opposite, right?

#1 v. #2

So throughout this process of #2, I’ve noted many differences between the two cycles and I’m thinkin’ with this many differences, the outcome must be different, too, right?

RIGHT??

Here are the differences

#1
Eager newbie, brimming over with enthusiasm
#2
Slightly seasoned vet, enthusiasm tempered by continued lack of babything from #1

#1
Wheatgrass supplements
#2
Wheatgrass and DHEA

#1
Antagon protocol, no bcp, no lupr0n, 2-3 shots/day
#2
Microdose lupr0n protocol, bcp 2 weeks, 7 shots a day

#1
Working at stress-filled, hated job
#2
Gloriously unemployed with no pressure to become employed until post IVF cycle

#1
Right ovary non-participatory
#2
Right ovary joins the game

#1
W’s sample produced at home
#2
W’s sample produced at RE’s office

#1
Four eggs retrieved
#2
Six eggs retrieved

#1
None fertilize or show 2PN status within 24 hours
#2
Two fertilize and are 2PNs after 24 hours

#1
Went to work straight from transfer, then after work took subway downtown and walked to acupuncture. Walked/subway’d home.
#2
Driven straight to acupuncture then driven straight home for day of couch potatoing

#1
Post-transfer acu session totally normal – peaceful, relaxing, snoozy
#2
Post-transfer acu session totally out of fucking control. Restless Leg Syndrome became Restless BODY seizure attack. Two needles fell out during the session.

I know there are more differences, but these are the ones that come to mind right off the bat. I’m not including anything about symptoms, because frankly they are all just fucking with me right now. Round ligament pain, sore boobs…I’ve got ‘em alright, but do they mean anything? Who the hell knows…

Random Updates

Well, the update on Cody is not good. His only option is chemo which would just prolong things a bit, not cure him, and my mom is against it. I agree with her that it is really just for the people and doesn’t do anything for the pet. She wants to remember him as the happy, bouncy sweet guy that he is. Of course if this was my dog, I don’t know that I could make such a decision, but I do get where she’s coming from. It is so so sad, though.

**********

My interviews yesterday went well. The first was more of a “Is she breathing and can she string a coherent sentence together?” kind of deal. And apparently I am and I can! Because now I’m here temping (blogging) away! So far it’s boring as hell. They’re still getting me hooked up to the network, and so far my only task has been to print out the attachments from a couple e-mails and 3-hole punch them. WHEW! I am beat! Not to mention I’m giving Rachel a run for her money for most ridiculous task that a person can do themselves and does not need a temp for. Hopefully I’ll get something a little meatier soon. So far I’m not so sure I’d want to work her long-term though. It’s a little quiet around here. Although there is free ice cream in the “cabanas” (their completely misleading term for the kitchenettes).

Ugh, another "please print this email" request. Pardon me a minute…

Wow. That is really taxing. I think I have a headache from all this thinkin’. How does it go again? Double click to open, Ctrl-P to print…hmm maybe I should write this down.

Thanks be to hay-soose the other interview at the Real Estate firm also went well. It was with two women from HR, but I think we hit it off and I should hear back by the end of this week if I’ll make it to the next round. It definitely seems like a nice place to work and the job sounds fun. Plus W and I own a 2-family in Manchester, NH and are kind of into the whole real estate thing (despite being SF renters at the moment).

This morning I got to the temp gig and was given a form to take down to the building’s security office so I could get a photo id. It turns out this building is managed by the company I interviewed with yesterday, so when I saw their logo on the form, I was so confused. “Did I already get the job? Where am I?” Man, just a few days of unemployment and my brain goes to mush!

***************

I don’t think I already mentioned this on the ole’ blog or not, but poor W thought that my beta was this past Sunday, not next Sunday. He was kind of devastated. Now he’s kind of wanting me to POAS, but I just don’t know. I think once Leah gets her BFP tomorrow I’m going to be more inclined, but for now I remain steadfast in my resolve (heh) not to bust out the sticks.

Cody

My mom's dog has cancer. He is the sweetest golden retriever ever. He's my dog's favorite playmate, the de facto mayor of his town and most importantly a HUGE part of my mom's life. She'll know more about his outlook after a battery of tests today. Please think some good thoughts about him.

...Activate! Update

Well, I'm hoping that the Wonder Twins' powers really DO activate today. I'm heading in for my transfer in about an hour. Only the two made it through. This is ok. Last time I transferred more than I wanted to and this time, I will be able to really and truly root for these two lil guys to latch on for a nine month ride.

More on their quality, etc. when I get back! Transfer is at 10:15 PST and then I'm going to acu on the way home.

Go give good luck to Leah too! Her transfer is this afternoon.

Updated with embie stats - I transferred two decent looking embryos. One 6 cell grade 1 and one 7 cell grade 2. Acu went ok, although I was wide awake and had wicked RLS. Now I'm at home watching some tivo and relaxing my arse off.

A Wee Bit O' Optimism

So firstly, thanks for all the comments and shout-outs. They are such a huge help. I am still kind of bummed that more didn't fertilize, but on the plus side, this is a shitload better than last time! I guess I sort of erased from my mind that last time my doc essentially transferred a bunch of garbage into my ute. At least this time around I have actual embryos! I'm calling them Zan and Jayna.

And now for a funny little story. W had to "produce his sample" as they so nicely put it, at the RE's office, which was a first for him. We live close enough that in the past they've said it's fine to do so at home, but this time I decided we should do everything different that we could. Anyway, when I asked him how it went, he said he tried starting out with a Penthouse, but had to choose a different mag because there were too many articles! Luckily he was able to find something "raunchier" that did the trick. So ladies, I guess when you hear that old "I just get it for the articles!" it might actually be true!

Dos

Well, of the six only two fertilized. I am obviously pretty bummed, but mostly ok. After all, it only takes one! (Slaps self upside head...)

Awesome news for Leah, though!

Half dozen ain't so bad

Well, because I guess I'm a big fat copycat, I got six eggs too. This cyclesista thing is getting a little nutty!

Six is pretty much exactly what I was expecting, although of course I was hoping for more. They're being ICSI'd as I type and I am so so anxious to find out how that goes.

I would guess it will be a Day 3 transfer, although I have a deal w/ my doc that if there are five or more embryos we'll try to stretch it to 5.

I overheard the woman who had her retrieval before me tell the nurse she was planning to play in a tennis tournament later today? Is she bonkers? I will settle for watching one - so many hours of US Open to enjoy!!

Like Donkey Kong

Well, we're on for tomorrow!

Final (although I insist that they're still growing) counts are

RIGHT: 19, 19, 18, 11
LEFT: 21, 18, 17, 14, 12
Lining: 11
E2: 1,306

So, I will be expecting and thrilled with 6 eggs out of that and will try not to get too hopeful for the chance of more. I'm scheduled for a Day 3 transfer if there are fewer than 5 that fertilize and he'll give them a chance to go to 5 days if there are more than 5. That would be unbelievable.

I must say even though I don't have that giddy first day of school feeling this time, I do feel calmer because I know how I'm feeling about DE if it ends up being necessary. I was talking to W about it last night and he's not sure yet how he feels because he says he's focusing all his thoughts on this one. I guess that's ok for now. At least someone in this family has some focus!!