Thursday, January 10, 2008

Jerry Springer Wannabe?

This makes me ill. Stupid T.yra B.anks is doing a show on infertility and she thinks this makes a good premise:

DO YOU KNOW A WOMAN OBSESSED WITH BECOMING PREGNANT?

Do you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom? Have you seen and heard her struggle for years, felt her unvoiced jealously and seen her desperation first hand? Have you watched silently for too long as she gets her hopes up only to be disappointed and heartbroken when she can’t conceive? Has she tried extreme methods and spent a lot of money to get pregnant with no luck? Do you want to finally tell her she needs to stop the emotional and physical stress on her body and seriously consider adoption or a surrogate alternative? If you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom and getting pregnant, then SUBMIT BELOW.

Click here if you want to tell her how you feel about this premise. (Thanks to KYFTI for bringing this to my attention.) I just envision her having these poor women on stage and then their mothers and husbands and best friends coming on to berate them about how adoption will solve all their problems. Hello? Don't you think they've thought of that already?? If it does happen, I kind of hope these women go all Springer on their asses and throw some chairs. I know I would.

Here's what I submitted.

Dear Producers,

I'm writing to urge you to change the premise of this show before it films. While I'm thrilled that you are planning to do a show on infertility and the struggles associated with it, this lead-in makes me believe that the show will be slanted against the women who try so hard to create a family, by describing them as obsessed and trying to coerce them to pursue methods they’re not yet ready for. Perhaps we infertile women do seem "obsessed" with becoming a mom, but the word obsessed is just wrong here. It misses the point of the emotional and physical struggles we go through. People can be obsessed with toy trains or celebrity gossip, but becoming a mom goes way beyond that.

I hope that your show will address the myriad medical conditions that can contribute to infertility, rather than simply talking about it as its own condition (although admittedly, some cases are unexplained), and that you'll discuss why it becomes so important to women to become pregnant and give birth to their own child.

Suggesting that your reason for bringing these women on is to urge them to "stop the emotional and physical stress on (their) bod(ies) and seriously consider adoption or a surrogate alternative?" is not going to help anyone. You must know that they've probably considered these options in depth already? And certainly you don't believe that adoption or surrogacy will eradicate or even diminish the emotional loss associated with losing the biological connection to your child or missing out on the opportunity to become pregnant and give birth?

Please do not bring these women on simply to be attacked for their choices and to be pressured by friends and family to rush into adoption or surrogacy too soon. ALL infertile women have considered these options and are working toward making a decision whether or not to pursue them.

Thank you for turning your focus to this subject, but please do your research and tread lightly as there are so many women out there looking for a voice and who continue to be disappointed in the media portrayal of our problem. You have the opportunity to do a show that will HELP millions of women, but with your current premise you will simply end up HURTING the women who appear on the show.

Best,

E-

19 comments:

Stacemoe said...

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby Step said...

Good for you. That description of the show REALLY pissed me off. It does sound very Jerry Springer-like. I am glad you wrote them a letter. I hope they read it and do something.

Stacie said...

Nicely put. That should get the producers to start thinking about what they plan to do, and hopefully, it will make them change their minds. Bravo.

Meghan said...

thanks for posting this. I'll be sending off a letter tomorrow (have to delete some of the expletives in what I just wrote)

The Dunn Family said...

Well said (written). The description of the show is HORRIBLE! I'm going to send a letter too.

Leah said...

Amen. As if I didn't love you enough already, I'm crazy excited that you used "myriad" correctly. So rare!

By the way, I wanted to follow up on your last post. My co-worker was engaging in her daily belly-rub-a-thon and I just couldn't take it anymore. I looked right at her and said, "Stop it." She said "What?" I said, "You are going to rub yourself raw. Just stop it." I went on to explain that if I wasn't pregnant myself right now that I would have quit already for fear of going insane or postal over the never-ending obsessive belly rubbing. I don't think she really got it except that someone else told me she was searching for the genie again today and seemed to catch herself. And, oh yeah, she mentioned that SIX people had said something to her about all the belly rubbing in the last two weeks along. So just quit it, will ya?

Anyway, I hope that the Tyra Banks show adjusts the tone of their show premise or it will be seriously disappointing. Not that I think it's a great show or anything (I've never seen it), but you really don't need to kick people while they are down. That's just wrong.

Ms. Planner said...

Ay-freaking-men!

Terrific letter E. I hope they take the time to consider the great points you raised.

Caro said...

Great letter!

Diana said...

wow, you were much nicer and professional than me. I basically told them to F off.

Geohde said...

Great letter. Good on you!

J

Jenna said...

Nice Job! Thanks for adding your two cents. I think that is an excellt email.

Susan said...

Very nice letter. I do hope they change it.

Allformybaby said...

I couldn't get it to submit my letter. I am currently looking for another place on their site to submit. Maybe they have already changed their minds and pulled the topic. Thanks for making is aware of the situation.
A

Tam said...

Very nicely put, I really do hope that if they ever air this show that they do not do in the way the they were planning.

It makes my blood boil I tell you, it just confirms my belief that the fertile people in the world will never understand the infertile persons struggle and pain!

Kim said...

great letter...I couldn't have said it better myself. I hope they pay attention to what you said...they do have the opportunity to help women like us and not hurt them, which is what their current premise will do.

good for you and thanks for bringing this to our attention.

Cibele said...

well said! I'll try to write something as well..

Tara said...

This makes me furious.

Fertilize Me said...

It's your birthday today !!! Happy Birthday!

Leah said...

Um, HELLO? Is anyone home? I'm dying to hear an update, to know how you are doing. Things here are going downhill rapidly (trouble sleeping, heartburn, general uncomfortableness, etc.) so I have to imagine with 2 little buggers in there, you are feeling it too. I'm missing you, let's hear from you!