Yet another friend is pregnant within about two months of trying. I'm sorry, Fertility Gods? Did I do something to piss you off? I mean, fine, my own body has failed me for the past four years, I get that. But why must I be bombarded with tales of my friends getting knocked up with such ease? Seems kinda harsh, frankly. I know I gave you absolutely no thought for the first 30 years of my life, but I think I've kind of made up for it in the past four, don't you? You've had my attention pretty much 24/7 lately. Is it too much? Am I too clingy? I just need to get something from you and I'll back off. I swear. Just a little something to let me know that you know I'm here. Trying. Really fucking hard. Am I trying too hard? Should I be playing hard-to-get? I think it's a little late for that now, but I'll do whatever it takes. I want a baby. Now.
I know my desire for a kid shouldn't grow just because I hear about other people getting pregnant. And it's not that it's growing. It is intensifying, though. And constantly brimming on the surface, ready to reduce me to a blubbering mess at the drop of a hat (or a pg announcement, I guess). I just want it so bad.