Wednesday, May 30, 2007


These last few posts of mine are pretty bleak. Maybe not without reason, but it's time for a change.

First, a mini WTF. I’ve got an appointment with my RE next Monday to talk about what might have gone wrong last cycle and how we can make it better for the next one. I emailed my IVF coordinator today to ask her if I could see my chart before the appointment and apparently there’s some huge rigmarole about sending in a signed release, which she thinks might take a while and yadda yadda yadda. I have to release the records to MYSELF? So I emailed back to see if I could just come in and look at it some time before the appointment. We’ll see how that request goes. Does it seem unreasonable to want to look at my chart before meeting with my doctor?


I’m feeling better after a really, really hard day.* It was way worse than I ever expected, but I think I’ve turned a corner (ew – Bushism!) and am feeling ready to deal with whatever comes next.

So…what’s next, then? Probably two months of DIY (one RE-mandated, one vacation-mandated). I’ll keep up with acupuncture and try to more strictly adhere to my acupuncturist’s diet and lifestyle suggestions. No dairy, no coffee and no cold drinks! Kind of harsh in the summer, but as we have to say to ourselves over and over, “It will be worth it once I end up pregnant.”

I am constantly amazed at how much I’m - and even more how much my fellow bloggers are - willing to put ourselves through. I know, believe me, I know, that the end result absolutely will be worth it, but I do wonder if I have a limit. Giving up ice cream and iced coffee over the summer is minor (sort of!), but won’t all these small concessions add up at some point? What if I just hit a wall? I’m really not very far along in my infertility journey, experience-wise, and I’m not feeling like I’m anywhere near the wall, but it really does loom out there in front of me.

For now though, I’m just going to focus on getting my brain and body ready for next time. It seems like the entire blogosphere is kicking off summer with a renewed fitness plan and I’m going to do the same. I went running today after work for the first time in a while and it felt so good! There was sweat, there was huffing, there was puffing. I set up these trackers to monitor how far I run and walk. They’re kind of dorky looking and I don’t really have a goal in mind for miles per week or month, but I just want to feel the need to update them frequently in a semi-public place. Gmaps-pedometer is the BOMB if you’re interested in tracking your travels.

I also ordered a new yoga dvd and replenished my wheatgrass supplement supplies today. GO HEALTH!

*My hard day was nothing like Suzy’s. She says she’s going away for a while, but I know she could use our support.


Reproductive Jeans said...

Brain and Body health are essential! Helps us get over the hurdles....

Ill be sending you Braces Bunch info soon!=)

Ms. Planner said...

Oh E. I am so sorry the past couple of days have been so rough for you. I've been thinking about you a lot and trying to telepath some form of comfort your way (well, not for real re: my telepathic powers, but you know what I mean).

When I incorporated the TCM diet restrictions into my regimen, we almost immediately saw a change in my temperatures, which were way too low throughout my cycle. I haven't had a cold drink in ages either, but I do splurge on ice cream about once every 2 weeks. Some of it sucks and I definitely felt like I was making concessions at first. I'm on my 4th month of TCM diet and it has become almost second nature, no biggie. Plus most of the principles are super healthy, which complements your workout regimen nicely :)

xoxo, Ms. Planner

Anonymous said...

Your chart is... yours. Actually belongs to you. Now you wouldn't know that with how closely the offices/hospitals guard it. I just requested a copy of my ENTIRE chart--I was very clear about that. What did I get? Labs and nursing notes.

When I am finished with treatment, I will throw a tantrum until they give me the whole thing!

Glad to hear you are on the upswing. Will be anxious to hear what your RE has to say.

Ms. Planner said...

Hey E - feel free to email me re: TCM diet. Obviously your acupuncturist will diagnose you because the diet is different depending upon your issues. A good place to start (if you haven't read it already) is Dr. Randine Lewis' "Infertility Cure."

Ms. P

Sticky Bun said...

Wait just one second--no ICE CREAM!? No cheese?? Is nothing sacred?


I'm sorry you've had a bad couple of days...but I'm so impressed you've started to run already! I decided today to turn over my new exercise leaf on Saturday, so I'll be joining you soon. We'll keep each other motivated!

Sarah said...

good for you with the health plan. exercise can be so emotionally restorative.

Amy said...

What does it say about chocolate in the TCM diet?! :)

Baby Blues said...

Welcome to the Braces Bunch! I'll be sending a wave of cards next week, expect one in your mail. :-)

Great plan. Go healthy! I'm joining you in getting fit too. Motivation is what gets us strarted. Habit is what keeps us going!

Kate said...

Welcome to the Braces Bunch! I started a new health plan a few weeks ago, so you'll have lots of support. :)

Bean said...


Thanks for the nice welcome over on my site -- I really appreciate it. As for the health stuff, congrats on the running. I just started weight w.atchers AGAIN in hopes of losing a few pounds and I promise myself everyday that I'll start working out. It's good motivation for me reading how others are doing it, so good luck.

Carrie said...

Dear Erin,
I'm so sorry, honey, I really really am. I've been away and just caught your news.
I wish......well you know.
And you're running. What a girl. Where is the curled heap in the corner trying to get through? Hats off. I'm sure you have had to be really hard on yourself to throw yourself into the exercise so soon, your getermination will pay off, I hope it happens soon.

Look after yourself x

Carrie said...

Determination, not getermination, of course!