Tuesday, May 1, 2007

As promised

No, the booze in the back is not part of my protocol. I wish!! I actually didn't even notice it was there until after I took the picture and I gave a millisecond's thought to clearing it out and retaking the shot, but realized that this was not exactly a Glamour Shot. (Weird. Spellcheck wants me to say "glamor" but it just looks better to me with the u. International and fancy and whatnot. Besides, what the hell does spellcheck know? It doesn't even know the word spellcheck!)

Anyway, here are my drugs in all their glory. Now if AF would just show up (not for another week at least) we can get this party started!

Am I nuts to keep feeling so giddy about all this? I know in the back of my mind that since this is my first IVF, it could end up being more diagnostic than impregnating, so my enthusiasm could be a bit naive. It will be interesting to actually get a look at my eggs (or at least have someone trained in egg-looking look at them through a powerful microscope) but I really hope there's nothing out of the ordinary to see. I just want to be ordinary.

I know it's too late for ordinary-ordinary, like getting knocked up by knockin' boots, but can I make a plea for IVF-ordinary? I'm worried that this enthusiasm I'm feeling has an expiration date. Like the end of next month's 2ww.

I do have a bit of 'insurance." Oh, not health insurance... my crappy nonprofit PPO doesn't cover shit, but we bought ourselves a little insurance with the ole' "Option 2 plan" which includes:
  • IVF #1
  • Cryopreservation of whatever lil guys aren't transferred but make it that far
and if the first round doesn't stick, then I also get:
  • All the FET's that can possibly come from the yield above for 12 months
  • Another fresh IVF cycle
All that for just $14k! Fuck. FOURTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. None of you reading this need the caps. You know what this stuff costs. I just had to get it out. And you probably guessed - correctly - that that doesn't include the meds. I am ridiculously lucky because we're getting help from my mom and stepdad with the money, but it still just feels so insane.

But I want it to be a colossal waste of money and for the first cycle to work. Much to W's dismay, I've never been all that thrifty and now more than ever getting my money's worth is so not important. A baby will do nicely. (And really, would be considered more than "my money's worth")

I've been enjoying getting to know a few of you out there and totally appreciate all the love! I'm looking forward to checking in on everyone and to turning to you for support over the next little while. Thanks!


Sticky Bun said...

Yeah, the money side of this is crazy. The fertiles of the world just don't get it. (And, I so hear you on wanting to be ordinary! hear! hear!)

Kate said...

Best of luck!!

LJ said...

Nice picture. I get giddy when I just bring my IUI meds home!

I hope that this works for you the first go around. It's gotta happen for some of us, and you damn well deserve it.

Ms. Planner said...

Where did you get that insurance policy? Seriously, after my first RE appointment yesterday, we may need it.

Someday I know you will be posting that picture in a baby book.

I know what you mean because I am actually quite stoked on the prospect of IVF. Money aside. I'm not a risk taker and the odds seem pretty damn good. A second IVF with the insurance. DANG. Sign me up.

xoxo, Ms. Planner

Carrie said...

OMG I had no idea there would be so much stuff!

And the money. I can't even say it out loud. We're kind of budgeting for three cycles and, well it's too scary.
I hope you've wasted your money too (in the nicest sense)

Laura, the (reluctant) baroness said...

WOW! A picture says SO much.

Do you think we'll say to our kids someday ". . . because I paid $14K for you, that's why you'll do what I say?" Naw, we'll just kiss them lots and be incredibly appreciative.

Best of luck to you! It can happen on the first try!

hopeful to hateful in 28 days said...

Its good to feel giddy. It helps you get revved up for another stressful cycle.

I love the booze in the background! Do you wash your pills down with a swig of Kahlua? :)

Jen said...

i love the liquor in the background, too funny... although i'm not sure why... lol. anyhow, many good thoughts for your first (and *hopefully* only) IVF cycle.

Allformybaby said...

WOW! I have the exact same bottles sitting on my kitchen counter as well!! Too Funny! I know how proud I was the day my meds came in for my first cycle!! I even bought a special Vera Bradley case for my meds (who cares it is a converted jewlery case turned med sachet!!) I can take it where ever and not be completly obvious. Yay for you not having to endure the whole BCP madness! That rocks! I will be checking on you from now on. Keep your chin up and I will be sending happy thoughts! A

ellie said...

I kind of wish the kahlua were some how part of the protocol -- it would certainly be so much more helpful with this process :).

I wish you good luck this month- it's not bad to be so optimistic, alot of people get pg on their first round of IVF and looking at it alittle diagnostically is helpful- every step gets you alittle closer to at least understanding the issues at hand. I'll keep you in my thoughts!

Reproductive Jeans said...

Uggg, what a pain the $$ side of it is--thats amazing how much insurance can cost!! I am sending you SO much hope--we are starting our first IVF in July, so I will be checking back with you--best of luck!!

Bumble said...

I'm suuuuure the booze IS part of the protocol isn't it? If so, pour me a Bombay Gin please.... and best of luck!