Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Way too many thoughts for one post, but here we go

So I posted for the first time on an infertility board at and so far seems to be a great spot to waste some work time. I posted on a discussion about being in the 2ww, because of course, I am in it myself.

I'm 3 dpIUI and the time is absolutely dragging. My friends P and C are coming to town and that will be a huge help to take my mind off things (although P is pregnant after ZERO months of trying...literally). Thankfully she's super sensitive about my IF and I feel like, maybe as a result, I've been shockingly mature and calm when it comes to her pregnancy....

Ok, fine. When she initially told me, I held it together sort of, saying, "Wow that's so cool" over and over about a hundred times. MERCIFULLY our phone connection died and I will admit that I didn't (couldn't) answer when she tried calling me back.

Because I was crying hysterically. I sort of pulled myself together to finish out the work day and went to my cousin's for dinner, in kind of a daze and then when I finally got home, collapsed into W's arms sobbing once again.

I woke up the next morning with a new attitude and am very happy for her.


But that's not what this post is really about - I POSTED ON AN INFERTILITY BOARD! Why is this such a big deal? I don't know, except perhaps that it means I am resigning myself to being part of this big group? Three and a half years later, it shouldn't be so hard to do, but I've always felt like it was temporary and would go away at some point.

Now I'm a total convert. Why did it take me so long? It is so nice to know that there are other people going through exactly what I am. I read one post today that I could have written myself.

Before I head back to the boards...

I have an appointment with my RE tomorrow to talk about the results from my CCCT. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hear bad things about my ovaries. He's already told me they're small. Stay tuned.

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