I am

Firstly, I am sick and tired of putting this off, so here goes!

I am a wife, a daughter and a sister, in that order, and I am so lucky to have the most wonderful husband, mom, and brother on the planet.

I am kind of a chatterbox 1-on-1, but in groups tend to clam up. That's one reason this blog has been such a great thing for me. I feel like I'm 1-on-1, but with a group of great supporters.

I am not career-driven and am not ashamed. Although I'm not 100% sure I could do the full-time Mommy thing, I'd sure like a crack at it.

I am pretty damn funny, but probably make jokes a little too much sometimes.

I am happiest when hanging out with just W and our pooch (and eventually I hope to include some offspring!). Sometimes when we're hanging out in bed on a Sunday morning or on the couch, I envision a little baby with us. I try to avoid doing so, but it does happen...

I am still reconciling myself with being infertile after 3 ½ years. (see pathetic visualizations above)

I am a grammar snob and wish that I could rid the world of ill-used quotation marks. I'm sorry but I'm not going to order "Shrimp" Fried Rice. I'm just not. Nor will I attend your yard sale with "TONS" of "GREAT" stuff. Sounds like a small pile of shit to me. I warmly welcome alerts to any grammatical improprieties in my blog or elsewhere.

I am usually very independent, but sometimes relish the chance to depend on W. He rocks.

I am a really good sleeper.

I am constantly planning. Not necessarily Blackberry, calendar style planning, but more like planning out the evening, or my use of Tivo, or what I might say next, or my route to work. It's kind of OCD-ish now that I'm thinking about it.

I am planning to see someone about my very recently self-diagnosed OCD.

I am 7dp3dt and it's friggin' killing me.

I am not a poet.

Confluent Displaysia

So I convinced W to play the Guess the Acronym game. It wasn't easy since it was only a few minutes after his beloved Sabres were eliminated from the playoffs. (Plus he didn't even get to see the end of the game because NBC decided that the pre-Preakness broadcast was more important than the Sabres-Ottowa overtime. Yes, we all need more Bob Costas.)

Also, he's not a huge fan of these things. For my bachelorette party my friends emailed him a little quiz asking silly questions like how many kids we want (HA!), the craziest place we ever had sex, etc. At the party they asked the questions and for each one wrong I had to have a shot of Jim Beam. So, I thought I would ace it, but I kept getting them wrong. Finally when the answer to craziest place we had sex was "The Eiffel Tower" I knew something was up since as I screamed, "HE'S NEVER BEEN TO FUCKING FRANCE!!!" Turns out he gave the quiz to his best pal to fill out and I was totally screwed. And drunk.

Anyway here are his answers. I actually thought he might do a little better than he did, but I'm sure with the Sabres tragedy he wasn't at his best.

AF Affirmative Fertilization
IVF In Vitro Fertilization (YES!)
IUI In-utero insemination (so close!)
IF Instant fertilization (uh yeah, not so much)
PG Procter & Gamble
TTC Tri Triptophan Cloromine (WHA??)
DPO Department of Public Orifices
BFP Big Fuckin' Penis
BFN Big Fuckin' Navel
POAS Part of a System
OPK Office of Prenatal Kare
CD Confluent Displaysia (seemed like a nice title to me)
BD Birth Defect (which I think he might have)

Try it, it's fun!

And now, for eight random things about me...

1. I learned to drive on my friend's stick shift and once I finally took driver's ed, I was worried I wouldn't know how to drive an automatic. Apparently the meaning of the word "automatic" had escaped me.
2. I went to Costa Rica on a two week vacation and ended up staying for a year and a half. During that time I only had about a dozen hot showers.
3. I don't like wind.
4. When I was in high school, I was really into Motown music. No, I did not grow up in Detroit in the 60s. I'm not really sure how it happened.
5. I could eat Mexican food every single night of my life.
6. It shows.
7. I've been going to acupuncture at least once a week since February and I have yet to actually see a needle when it's stuck in me. I'm hoping to keep it that way.
8. I don't like pie or cooked fruit of any kind. Except pineapple on pizza.

Most everyone around has been tagged with this so far, but if you haven't yet, consider yourself tagged!

Musically Speaking

I've been looking for a free minute to play the IF ipod shuffle game, and decided it was the perfect way to procrastinate writing this grant I'm working on. Sadly it only took a few minutes and I was quickly back to staring at my blinking cursor, but then I thought - YES! I can make a post about it. And ramble on and on in the introduction so I don't have to go back to that stupid grant!

Fine, enough. Here goes. For those unclear on the rules, you set your ipod (or other mp3 player - no i-snobbery here) to shuffle and the first 5 songs to come up are the answers to the following questions. In order! No cheating!

1. The song for the you that existed before you ever thought about your fertility:

Tabou by Les Nubians (Hmm, I am kind of bitchy so maybe...)

2. Would you really want to go back and be that person again?

Rompe by Daddy Yankee ("It breaks"? Not sure what to make of that. I guess my old self is broken? No shit!)

3. The song for when you first started fertility treatments:

Over and Over Again by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (OK - here's a winner! little did I know how true that would be)

4. What did infertility do to your sex life?

Red Beans N Rice – Southern Culture on the Skids (Um, yeah, I think the band name is more pertinent than the song title. That should count, right?)

5. What about superstitions and fertility rituals?

Intermittently by Barenaked Ladies (Wait, what? I thought it was supposed to be “frequently”!)

In Other News....My drugs arrive tomorrow! I skipped over the injectible IUIs, so this is my first go-round of the daily shots and I'm oddly stoked! I'll be sure to post the obligatory photo . It seems like that's an important rite of IF blog passage.

Is it too soon to start registering for baby shower gifts?

What? Don't look at me like that.

So what if I've been trying to have a baby for three and a half years with absolutely no luck and am still about a week from even ovulating during a non ART cycle. So WHAT!

I found something I need.

Can you imagine how delish the brownies would be from this pan? I'm all about the edges, so this is basically my dream come true.

I may have to get it for myself before the shower so I can practice. (Yeah, yeah, what effin' shower...I know.)

A short story, part 1

Once upon a time there was a woman who was trying to get knocked up. Traditional methods didn't work, so she went to a doctor who injected her husband's sperm inside her, gave her some prometrium capsules and said "shove these where the sun don't shine and call me in 2 weeks."

Midway through those 2 weeks her brain melted and she developed carpal tunnel from her World (Wide Web) Tour of IF blogs and bulletin boards.

Will her brain return to normal function?

Will she be able to resist the siren call of the internet?

Will her Easter Sunday "egg hunt" be a success?

Stay tuned...