Monday, December 10, 2007

A Yuletide List Like No Other

Things you shouldn’t have to endure during a holiday party, but since it was a FAMILY holiday party you should have known you were in for:

1.) Having to drink the same thing as the 4 year olds – a Shirley temple.

2.) Watching your mom constantly pester your husband about her ever changing music volume needs. (Were we really the only people at the party with an iPod? Or are we just the only ones nice enough to agree to be in charge of the music?)

3.) Being the only sober one among 35 drunken adults and 15 sugar-crazed children.

4.) Seeing your mom sit on your husband’s lap. Just because he’s dressed as Santa don’t make it right.

5.) Having your (usually lovely and appropriate) stepsister, in an effort to explain why she thinks you’re having boys, jam her fingers WAY up your business several times to describe just where she thinks girls are carried.

6.) Only having the tray of rock shrimp corn fritters come by twice

7.) Being told in one 5-minute conversation that a) you’ll never wear those (hot!) shoes again b) your pregnancy is all downhill from here and c) your life is over.

8.) Having to pretend that the fact that as children grow, their clothes take up more space is news to you.

9.) Being told first that you look pregnant and second that you don’t look at all pregnant, and being irrationally upset by both comments.

In other news, I think I felt some baby movement on Saturday! W and I were out shopping and on the way home I collapsed onto the BART seat and felt the sort of popping fluttery feeling that I've read about. Nothing since then, but I think it was just one of them standing up and applauding for finally getting a rest after about 4 straight hours of shopping.


Geohde said...

That sure is one hell of a list!


Meghan said...

#4 is exceptionally horrifying. So sorry.

Sticky Bun said...

So, is it wrong that I love shirley temples and have been thoroughly enjoying drinking them?

I so hear you on the two comments, though--I think they're both equally disturbing. Why do people feel the need to say anything is my question.

And, so fun you felt the wonder twins move!

The Dunn Family said...

Your life is not over. Your life as you know it is, it changes drastically, for the WAY better. There's no way to describe it. You are going to LOVE being a mom.

Fertilize Me said...

OH, are you sure we aren;t somehow related? That list sounds an awful lot like the torture (erhm i mean cheer) That I endure at holiday functions ... WOW the finger jammin sis!!! PEOPLE

Waiting Amy said...

Okay, I think #5 is exceptionally horrifying. Just what part of your business was she poking. Wait, I don't really want to know.

Your life will be different. Most days you will love it.

Cibele said...

I get those obnoxious comments all the time. They drive crazy!
YAY for feeling the baby moving

Baby Step said...

Yay on babies flitter-fluttering!!!

Em said...

My belated congrats for the pregnancy. I am way behind on my blog reading!

Diana said...

Picturing a little fetus standing up and cheering. HAHA!!!

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

That is quite a list. Horray for baby movement!

Becks said...

I don't think I should have but your list did make me giggle.

The fluttering sounds great....hope the dancing starts soon!

P.S sent you an email the other day about wheatgrass but not sure if it got to you as my hotmail has been playing nasty games with me?

Courtney said...

Aren't the holidays grand????


Those fluttery feelings sound so exciting!

Kim said...

WooHooo! for the fluttery feeling!

And you will wear those hot shoes again! (Even if it to just prove someone wrong)!

Ms. Planner said...

Dude, what is up with your SIL's fingers up your business? You MUST describe...if only because I am sure whatever you will write will have me peeing in my pants.

YAY on movement from the WTs!