Thursday, June 21, 2007

Fulfillment

Wouldn’t you know it? I went to play tennis and have dinner with my mom last night and over dinner, all she could talk about was the fabulous day she had babysitting 3 of my nieces and nephews. How they went to Junior Gym, and how they went out to lunch and had ice cream and blah blah cute little fuckers blah blah…. I swear it’s as if she suddenly hates me and read my last post, and decided to torture me. (She doesn’t and wouldn’t.)

The worst part came when she was talking about meeting a woman at lunch whose grandkids live on the East Coast. The woman really missed them, and my mom said (to me) something along the lines of, “I felt so bad for her, because I’m so fulfilled living close to these guys.”

Um, yeah.

I know she didn’t mean anything malicious by it, but OUCH!

fulFILLED. Like full-up, no room for more. I know that’s not what she meant by it at all, but I just hate how IF makes our brains turn a casual conversation into something so terrible.

Unfortunately this time I was drinking red wine, so guzzling it wasn’t as much of an option.

The good news is that for the first time in about five years I beat her ass in tennis! She plays a lot, and I don’t, so her consistency always seemed to be key. Not last night, though! Erratic power rocks!

Also, I played the Erin kneads game. The spellings are all screwy because I don’t want to be one of the other million people found by googling this game. It’s fun, though!

Er!n kneads another miracle - ain't it the truth!

Er!n kneads a drink - again, quite truthful!

Er!n kneads to wear shirts - I'm sure most would agree

Er!n kneads what most white girls crave - a c*ck that measures in the double digits - really?

Er!n kneads a Google Good Time - Sounds fun to me!

Er!n kneads to be naked too - what is it? Shirts or nakedness??

Er!n kneads to go to bed - Can I watch So You Think You Can Dance first?

Er!n kneads a new hobby - Aside from blogging her eyeballs out?

Er!n kneads some pain free days ahead - always up for that!

Er!n kneads Paul more than he needs her. - Paul, you bastard!

10 comments:

Mama Bear said...

For some reason the "Paul, you bastard" ending made me laugh out loud. Good comedy. :-)

I'm sorry about the conversation with your mom. I know you know that's not what she meant and that she didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but I definitely know what you mean. IF really does turn casual conversations into painful reminders of everything we're going through. It's so hard. Sometimes don't you just wish you could have a break from it all??

I'm glad you beat her at tennis, though! Hubby's family are big tennis players--they have a crazy huge, double-elimination tennis tournament every year, and nothing made me so happy as the first year I knocked him out. Is that wrong? :-)

Unknown said...

Erin, thanks for the sweet note on my blog regarding acupuncture :) Yes, she did say keep away from juices, cow dairy, ice cream/sorbet, not too much soy, but have tons of red meat, goat dairy, soups, stews, steamed veggies etc. Glad to hear that part of this diet plan was voiced by your acupuncturist also...kind of makes it all reaffirmed for me.

About your mom, does she know whats going on with you? I totally understand how its so easy to turn a casual conversation into something else. I find myself doing that more and more and it drives me INSANE!!!

Hey, so I saw your email addy on your blog. I'm going to email you- I'd love to get together one of these days maybe (if you're up for it), esp since we live so close to one another!

Caro said...

Damn those casual comments! I love the google game.

Jenn said...

I haven't tried the google game yet, I'll have to give it a shot.

Anonymous said...

Bravo on the tennis victory.

As for your mom... sucks when we are real sensitive. It can be difficult to remember what peoples intentions really are.

Your google game answers were great!

Leah said...

Like sticky bun, I was tickled by a phrase in your post, but for me it was "blah blah cute little fuckers blah blah." I laughed right out loud when I read that!

My sister also struggled with IF, doing 3 IVFs and ultimately adopting. My Mom says really helpful things like, "Geez, I just don't know what's wrong with you girls, I got pregnant if your Father just passed me in the hallway."

Um, thanks, Mom. Real helpful. Want to trade Moms for a while?

KarenO said...

ROFL @ your comments after your kneads results! You're too funny :) And GOOD for you for beating your mom at tennis! Servers her right for hurting you like that, even if it was unintentional. :)

Sarah said...

erin, so saucy! that's the best "______ needs" i've read yet!

about your mom, would you consider telling her these things are hard to hear, even though you're very happy for her fulfillment and the cute little fuckers and all? maybe just say the topic hits a little too close to your own unfulfillment?

Becks said...

So pleased for you beating her at tennis, sound like you are getting lots of exercise...you put me to shame!!

I am sure your mum will be over the moon when you get pregnant, I am sure she wouldn't admit it but a child from you would just be the icing on the cake.

Portia P said...

The Erin "Kneads" game made me laugh out loud too. !

I'm sorry about your Mom. I'm sure they just don't have a clue they're doing it.

Mine keeps suggesting we stop treatments after this one as it's really taking its toll on us. Just makes me even more determined to keep on going...