Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

It is serious sigh of relief time. I just got off the horn with Genevieve the Genetics Counselor with Genzyme (and I thought I had a thing with alliteration - she's three letters deep!). Good news - the WT's have the same chance of having DS as if I'd gotten knocked up at age 20! (That would have made them a whole different kind of WT - heh.) Anyhoo, there's a less than 1 in 10,000 chance of the other trisonomies, so W and I are both feeling good about moving past this genetics business, and skipping the amnio. PHEW!

Plus, I have to just say, my hair looks and feels fucking fantastic. The color is exactly my natural color (if it was pretty) with some golden highlights, and it's a pretty blunt bob to about 2 inches below my ears, which means she cut a good 5-6 inches off. We'll see how it stands up to my usual styling method: gently massage head with towel and...yeah, that's it. I'll see if I can get a good enough picture to post. I mean the hair looks good, but I can't do much with the rest.

And my 3rd ahhhh moment for today is the date. November 30. 30th November. Last day of November. No more days in November for this year. December is tomorrow. And I will not post. NaBloPoMo is a nice idea and all, but I liked when blogging was fun, or at least therapeutic. This made it sort of a chore. And probably not too inspiring to the reader. I'm no Alexa. She was made for this sort of thing. Me? Not so much. From now on I'll try to just post when I've got something to say.

And let's give an ahhh-out to plain ole Friday. After last week's luxurious two-day workweek, pulling this whole 5-day shit was rough! But it's nearly over now. And I'm going to meet my friend who's in town for just the weekend at our other friends restaurant, which hopefully means free food! Yay for potentially free food! Then we've got a meat-themed surprise birthday party for another friend tomorrow, and at some point I think I'll try to fit in some packing. W is going away for business all next week, which I assume is his way of getting out of packing. Luckily I've got some wine and can bribe my mom with it to help me out.

Happy Weekend!

Thursday Thrills

See, the alliteration, it won't stop! But really, there are lots of thrills today.

Best News: If you haven't heard, THEY'RE HERE!!! And so freaking cute! I will post the picture as soon as I get the ok. ApronStrings will probably get the ok before me, so check there, too. Everyone is happy and healthy. Such good news.

3rd Best News - going out of order here: In other good, but far less momentous news, the worries from yesterday have subsided. No more spotting, no more pain. Apparently blogging really IS healing!

And I totally agree with everyone about not poking the beast that is my polyp. I think I'm just frustrated because when W heard the doctor say that having sex could irritate it, he took that to mean we should live like we never heard of Intercouse, PA. It's cute and sweet, but then again, not so much. I may have to force the issue which will probably incur more spotting, which will then send me running to the keyboard for, dare I suggest a Friday Freakout? And then you'll all tell me to stop being such a horny bastard and leave the poor man be. Right? Prob'ly.

2nd Best News: I'm leaving my office in 15 short minutes to FINALLY get my hair cut and colored. It is nasty, nasty, nasty. Way too long, with a big swath of dishwater colored blahness running down the middle. Blech. Maybe if my hair looks really good the problem above will resolve itself!

Wednesday Worries

First of I all I worry about my constant use of alliteration. But...I'm missing the point (procrastinating pontificating the point?) here.

So last night when I got home from work and went to the loo, there was a bit of blood. And then in subsequent trips, brownness. After one or two more trips, there was nothing, but again this morning there is a light, light brown substance. I know brown is ok, but it's still freaky. I'm hoping it was just the polyp on my cervix. I'd really like that to be gone the next time I go to the doc.

And making it more worrisome are these two different pains I'm having. One is in my abdomen, at a spot right between my belly button and my...self and it feels just like when you touch a bruise, except I don't need to touch it to feel it. It just kind of twinges on and off occasionally and whenever I sit down. If I had to guess, I've probably felt it 10-15 different times this morning. It's gone as quickly as it comes, but it's weird. It's definitely not a crampy feeling; bruise-like is the best way I can describe it.

Then the other pain is even stranger. Whenever I stand or sit I feel it in the ole vagine, like the bits are tender and so sensitive that standing and sitting are (mildly) painful. This could be the excess blood in my system, but again, it's weirding me out.

Anyone feel anything twinges like these? Also, for those who've had a polyp removed from their cervix, what was the process? I had one in my uterus, and had a hysteroscopy, but I'm thinking (hoping) that being closer to the exit, this one could be slightly easier to get rid of? My ob wants to leave it, but it's kind of stressing me out. If the procedure is minor, I'm considering getting rid of it.

Thank You!

Wow - thanks so much for the great comments. Are you all trying to get with me too? Seriously, though, thanks. I feel so lucky to have found you! I'm still nervous, and I know that will never go away, but at least I know I'm not alone.

I've got a couple random notes for tonight.

1) How can I get Bob from the Biggest Loser to come be my trainer after the WT's arrive? I do have the dvd, and it's great, but I think having him there in the room with me would really help. Any ideas on how to make that happen?

1a) Could the weigh-in elimination portion of the Biggest Loser last ANY longer? Sweet mother!

2) Think good thoughts for Watson! She's scheduled for a c-section on Wednesday and Parker and Jackson will finally be here!

3) My lame ass bladder is not a fan of NaBloPoMo. Actually it's simply not a fan of anything that involves being away from the bathroom for more than 10 minutes.

3a) Gotta pee!

Scared

Is there some point at which the idea of becoming someone's mother is more than just a reason to freak out? I don't mean that it has to be right now, but I just wonder if it ever becomes real. Because at this moment it seems so incredibly far from it. And even if I did believe that it would happen, then what? What do I know about any of this?

Often when we're schmooping it up to each other and generally marveling over the twins, W will tell me that I'll be the best mom ever. I truly wonder why he thinks that. Maybe he's just saying it to get some? I mean, I'll love them like crazy, and I can cook, but I'm pretty sure there's more to it than that. And even the initial part I think I could handle. Diapers, sleep schedules, breastfeeding... but what about when they can talk? Or worse, understand!

That's where it gets really frightening.

I can read about how to be healthy during pregnancy, or how to pick out the safest car seat, but I don't think there are any books or magazines to help me figure out how to be someone's mom.

Back to Life...Back to Reality...

Even though we were gone for less than 4 days, and were fewer than 25 miles from home it is SO freakin' good to be home! Bella seems super happy and not at all miffed that we went to the beach for the weekend without her. Of course we wouldn't have chosen to do so, but my stepsister who found the house we rented forgot to check if they allow dogs.

Aside from the fact that we were pooch-free, the holiday weekend could not have been more perfect. Of course Wednesday was fabulous. My brother had arrived the night before and Wednesday morning we went out to a tasty breakfast. Once we got home I put him to work making the chili for dinner and W and I went to Part 1 of our two-part genetics counseling/NT scan appointment. The counseling part was a complete waste. It would have been valuable had we not ever seen a) the internet or b) any book on pregnancy. After about 15 minutes even the counselor was like, "Well, ok, you guys have this stuff down. Any other questions?" Since there were none, we went home to pack up the car and then on our way out of town we went to the NT scan portion.

It was my first non-dildocam ultrasound, so I finally felt like a real pregnant lady! The tech was totally into the twin thing, so we got to stare at them for a nice long time. I felt a little bad, since my brother was just sitting in the car waiting for us, but I sure as hell wasn't going to stop her. She took the NT measurements and I thought I could read that they were fine. Both babies were doing their thang and it was amazing. I can't even begin to explain how cool it was to see them like that. I wondered later if both the tech and doctor thought I was kind of nonplussed about the whole thing because I barely spoke. I just watched. You could tell that Snoozy is fucking LOVING LIFE in the top bunk. He's* got all the room, and is just kicking back and relaxing. I think I even saw a tiny ottoman for his tiny legs. At one point he gave us a little fist pump as if to say, "Hey 'Rents! It's all good in here!" As for poor G-Lo? There is a distinct cause of her* squirminess. Being on the bottom bunk, she's totally cramped. She seems to have a hard time finding a comfortable spot, but in her efforts to do so she got in a few good thumps to the top bunk, so at least she's making a stand.

Snoozy:










G-Lo









Once she was done, the tech said she was going to get the doctor to confirm some measurements. Of course at that point I started to wig out, worried that something was wrong. If only she'd said from the beginning that there would be two sets of measurements. We waited nearly 30 minutes which did not help my stress level. I was sure that the doctor had to be so baffled my our kids' rare medical condition that he was either consulting his library to find a treatment, or trying to find a way to give us the bad news.

Finally I sent W out to see if they were coming back for us. Not only was I nervous, I was starving, had to pee like a mofo and was supposed to pick up my mom very shortly. The doctor was on his way in as W went looking for him, so luckily we were "quickly" underway. Both babies made it really hard to get a good look at the neck area in need of measuring, so the doctor part of the scan took even longer than the first half. His technique of violently pulsing the wand into my abdomen had absolutely zero effect on the twins' placement, but very nearly caused me to piss my pants a couple of times. Pretty sweet. Eventually he got the measurement and confirmed what I'd seen on the tech's scan 1.3 and 1.6 and I could resume breathing. Luckily the relief didn't relax me so much that I actually peed my pants, but man, it was close. Now we just wait for the bloodwork. I guess they'll be calling mid-week. I go back for another u/s on 12/19 and can't wait to see how big the kiddies are by then. I wonder if they'll have made a masking tape line to mark out their respective territories like good siblings sharing cramped quarters should.

SO...that's a really long way of saying the weekend started out nicely. From there we drove to Tiburon to pick my mom up and headed out to Stinson. The house my stepsis(in-law, technically) found for us was so cute. We made a fire, and played Scrabble while the chili warmed up. My stepdad arrived a little later and then after dinner, he, my mom and my bro walked to the local bar while Will and I hung out by the fire.

Thanksgiving morning we woke up to crystal clear sun and went for a nice, long walk on the beach. In fact it was a little too long, because I had to practically sprint back for fear once again of soiling myself. Back at the house I got my brother and W to work assembling our appetizer - chipotle-lime marinated shrimp wrapped in bacon, which we grilled once we got to my stepbrother's house. So good! The rest of the meal was also pretty damn nice. There were about 40 of us and the food was amazing. Of course, as I phone-blogged, it was kind of rough not enjoying the tasty cocktails that were flowing, but I made myself a faux-garita and then had half a glass of pinot noir with dinner. The first couple sips were exactly what I'd hoped they'd be, but toward the end I had to give it to W because it just didn't feel worth it. After dinner we hung out by their newly built, giant outdoor fireplace and shot the shit with friends and fam.

On Feel Good Friday morning we took another beach walk and then I made rice krispie treats to bring to the beer pong party. Beer pong was out of control - mostly hilarious, and very drunken for those who could imbibe. A friend of my stepbro designated himself as shotboy and W had at least 4 shots of tequila. Everyone else had to be closer to 10. I have no idea how they do it! The shots had no effect on W's pong prowess, however and he became simultaneously the most desired partner and most targeted ringer. I was just hanging by the outdoor fire, enjoying my Becks N.A. and also loved watching shotboy (who was kind of a dick) get harassed by his pals for drinking one accidentally and not noticing that it was NA.

Yesterday after a little hike with my mom, we sent her and her husband on their way and W and I finally had the chance to hang out at the house alone. I promptly fell asleep. There was the most comfy window seat at our house and I couldn't help myself! I needed it, too because Saturday night is the annual Stinson Beach Fireman's Ball and my stepbro and their friends make quite the night of it. They have an annual cocktail party before the ball where everyone picks through several racks of costumes. The Ball itself is NOT a costume party, but don't tell them that! This is our second year going and it is a freaking blast. Last year I wore my slutty St. Pauli Girl dress, but this year I went for a hot pink mu-mu. W was resplendent in a red sequined one-piece Elvis/Superhero suit with a V down to THERE. He was so hot. I'll post pictures as soon as my brother sends them to me. As the sole sober person I drove a minivan full of 11 drunken, polyestered nutjobs to the dance. I'm sure we looked like a clown car. The music was great and I totally wanted to dance, but I felt like I should keep it sort of mellow.

Overall, such a great weekend. Back to work tomorrow and it's time to start packing! We move into our new place on 12/15! Woo hoo!

*I still have no confirmation of their gender. I'm just going by feel here.

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First day W and i have been alone (even for 10 minutes) since Weds. Ahhhhh... Naps, fire, football. Back to real life AND BELLA tomorrow. Cannot wait to see her!