Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Woo Hoo!

Had a follow up weight check today and both babies are over their birth weight! At 13 days old, no less!! Matthew is 5.9 (5.7 at birth) and Sarah is 5.13 (5.11). I am so relieved. We're going to back off the formula supplements for now. I will probably start pumping in the next couple of days to build up a nice supply for the occasional bottle. Our pedi suggested that if they start cluster feeding a bunch in the evening that I could skip a feed and DH can give them a bottle. I'd much rather it be breastmilk, so we'll probably head out to rent a pump tomorrow.

She also said that as far as milestones we can ignore their early arrival and they can now be treated as full term babies. The title says it all - woo to the hoo!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Family Update!

Oy vey. I was SO looking forward to today. My first Mother's Day as a MOM! But I certainly did not anticipate welcoming the day from the Emergency Room.

Yup. So last night we were both noticing that the sleep deprivation was beginning to take its toll on us. Then the little man's left eye began to swell up. It had been kicking out some gunk throughout the day, but didn't seem too scary. Once we saw the swelling, though I got scared. But at the same time, we were both so tired that we couldn't decide what to do. First we called the advice line for our pediatrician. They said we could call at 7:30 this morning to make an appointment w/ the after hours clinic. I just couldn't see how we would make it through the night worrying about his eye as it was puffing up more and more with each passing minute. He's just so tiny, it seemed like any small affliction could be major to him, you know?

On the other hand, the ER just seems like a scary pool of other people's germs. And being so tiny and underdeveloped, it seems like he'd be so susceptible to them. In the end, we had my mom stop over and she was all for us going to the ER. Part of her reasoning is that I have had a rash since the delivery that covers my ENTIRE FUCKING BODY. It itches like hell and is really vile to look at. She was worried (as was I) that somehow my rash had manifested itself in his eye. Even though I've been so vigilant about sanitizer and hand-washing, the possibility was still there.

Of course, not a single health professional who has looked at my rash has even raised an eyebrow. Apparently it's just a rash and I need to suck it up. I did get some steroids from my ob, but they're not exactly doing anything. Wah wah me right?

Anyway - back to Matty. The ER doc (SO not George Clooney - more of an extra dorky William H. Macy) said that he's got conjunctivitis. ugh. they lubed him up with some antibiotics and today the eye is 1000% better. maybe we overreacted a bit, but I'm not sure how we could have - he's a 9-day old 5 pound preemie!! Now we're just hoping that Sister Sarah doesn't end up with it, too.

So, aside from that, everything is going really well. I know we're still dealing with sleepy preemies, but they are so well-behaved! We had a couple tough nights in the hospital, with 2 hr crying fits and marathon feeding sessions, so I was a little worried we had two little monsters on our hands. But since we've been home they've been perfectly behaved! My only concern is weight gain. They aren't gaining as quickly as they should be - as of yesterday's pedi appointment Sarah is at 5lbs, 5.5oz and Matthew is 5lbs, 1oz. They've gained since leaving the hospital (she was 5.2 he was 4.15), but they'd each only gained 1/2 an ounce from the appointment the day before. We've been told to supplement a few feedings each day with some formula. I wish we didn't have to, but in a way it does take the pressure off of breastfeeding and it lets W get involved with feeding time. I love that one-on-one time, so it's only fair he gets it, too.

Breastfeeding is going ok. It's really fucking hard, but for the most part it's working! In the hospital I had a few days where I wasn't sure if it would be so "easy". At first Matthew wouldn't latch on. To get out of the NICU he had to take 10 cc's of formula. Then once in our room he wasn't so into the boob and he had to have two more bottles overnight. then the next day he was on again/off again , but now I think the spoon feeding I mentioned before is behind us. There was also the time I was feeding them together and the nipple pain was so bad that tears were streaming down my face. Since I've been home I haven't been tandem feeding as much. Not because of the pain, but because single-feeding them allows me to pay more attention to how they're eating so I can be sure they're not just hanging out, snoozing away. Tandem will be great once they're a bit older and can relatch on their own, though.

My c-section recovery feels like it's taking longer than it should. I know it was major surgery and all, but I'm dying to feel like myself again. Even though it came on so late in the game, the preeclampsia seems to have fucked me up but good. I got super swollen (amazingly even moreso!) while in the hospital, and had to be on magnesium for the 24 hrs after delivery. Then the edema cause a bit of a rash on my stomach. And then of course the full body rash, which is unrelated to the stomach one.

All this stuff I'm whining about is SO unimportant, though. When I just look at these two babies I am amazed at the love I feel for them. I feel like I've known them forever, like these two people were destined to be a part of my life. I love being able to say, "Oh, Matthew always does that head shake thing when he's latching on." or "Sarah just loves it when you rub her back." They're mine! I know them better than anyone (W and I do, that is.) It's just incredible. How lucky am I?

Of course on the flip side, the responsibility is so scary. When we were on our way to the ER I was so overwhelmed by it that I kept breaking down into tears. NOT exactly painting the picture of the confident Mommy! Luckily Matthew loves the car and was passed out, so he didn't notice my pathetic blubbering.

Ok, so enough talk - to the babies!

Sarah on the left, Matthew on the right.



Sarah curled up on W's chest at the pediatrician.



Matthew Raising the Roof!



We could really use some smaller car seats, no?



Matthew attempting to suck his thumb. He's getting better at it every day.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Form of.... BABIES!



Here they are! We're going to load a bunch more pictures onto our picasa page soon, but for now this is all ya get!

Girlfriend came out at 5lbs 11oz and 19 inches and Boyfriend is 5lbs 7oz and 18.5 inches. We're doing our best at bf'ing and both kids have latched on on their own a few times. Boyfriend will latch on for a while, but mostly he likes to eat from a spoon - a habit I'm hoping he'll kick very soon, but for now if he's getting his grub on, I'm all for it. He had to spend about 3 hrs in the NICU to make sure he was breathing ok, but he was out in no time. She went straight to the nursery and was nursing with me within an hour or so of her debut and has been doing really well every since. Every 3 hours is really often. In case you didn't know...

C-section went fine. I'm starting to feel it a bit more funky this afternoon, now that the morphine has worn off, but all things considered I feel pretty good.

Ok, that's probably enough typing for now. Thanks for all the great comments!! I'll try to post when I have the Picasa link.

xoxo
E

Thursday, May 1, 2008

MAYDAY!!

Today's nonstress test has provided me with a bit of stress in the form of pre eclampsia. It's a minor case but I'm far enough along that the Wonder Twins are activating today!

C-section will be around 3:30, aka 90 short minutes from now!!!!

Pictures to follow, probably tomorrow.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Is anyone still out there?

Wow - long time no post! Even though I'm not yet full term, there is a part of me that would love this post to have been delayed by some baby-havin'. Oh well - I guess it's all for the best that these lil punks are dead set on taking full advantage of their current lodgings. They fucking love it up in here! And now that I'm done with work they may never want to leave. This week has been very chill - all about playing Scrabulous, catching up on tivo, reading and generally relaxing. I have thrown in a small amount of "nesting," but that's really just me cleaning up the horrid mess that I've made in the babies' room. It's shocking, though, how quickly I get tired! Also at my most recent ob appointment, I noticed that the street we always park on is a bit downhill from the office. I guess I always thought it was flat, but yesterday by the time I got to the corner I felt like I'd summited Everest! Oh the huffing and puffing...

Speaking of my appointment, my c-section has been rescheduled from 5/9 to 5/15. In my previous post I said that "my" doc suggested 5/12, but it was in fact another doctor in the practice. Please pardon the fib; it just didn't seem that important at the time. Then it was the scheduling nurse who went with the 9th when the 12th and 14th were full. Once my actual OB got wind of it, he decided to move it back because he wants to wait until I'm a full 38 weeks. So the 15th at 5pm is what we've got now and I'll be 38w4d and SO FUCKING READY! I'm hoping for something to open up on the 12th or 14th, mostly because the time of day of the current one kinda sucks. W and I were just saying how hard it will be to fall asleep the night before what was then a 10 am c-section. We described the range of excitement as being akin to Christmas morning. Then it was Christmas morning times 2. Then it was "exponentially better" than Christmas morning and then all of a sudden it was 11 at night and we're trying to figure out what the Twin Factorial of Christmas morning would be. DORKS! But now all that's out the window and we get to spend an entire DAY sitting around waiting for the littles to arrive. Madness!

I've started weekly nonstress tests, which are actually quite nice. The staff is very cheery and I get to lie in a pretty comfy bed and listen to my babies heartbeats for peaceful 30 minutes, give or take. I had my first one last Friday afternoon, which happened to be my last day of work, and I was having contractions like crazy. None that felt too major, but they were quite frequent. At today's test, after a week of chilling in my new recliner, there was just one teeny one. I guess this resting stuff works! My blood pressure had gone up a bit last week., but now it's down to 120/70. Can't complain about that.

Life is uncomfortable, but I really don't have much to whine about. Here's my list of non-complaints. :)

  • I'm huge (63 pounds gained - it's all in my legs, I swear*)
  • I have to pee so often that it's BEYOND cliche
  • My little girl continues to burrow into my back at around 3 am every morning. OUCH.
  • My right hand is pretty useless. I can't squeeze or hold onto much of anything with it.
  • I'm starving all the time. Constantly.
  • Except when I'm so full I could burst. Violently.
  • I find it hard at times to sit up at all because the little man is exploring the upper regions of my ribs.
So, you see? Nothing earth shattering. But I'm definitely ready for the next part of this adventure. But first...I gotta pee.

*Seriously, my legs are full of fluid. When the girl burrows in, I find it helpful to hang out on my hands and knees for a bit. Well, lately I've noticed that there's this extra layer of cushioning on the front half of my shins. It's FLUID! EW!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

And the countdown begins

Well, I tried to schedule for 5/14 as planned, but it's booked. As is 5/12, which is what my doctor suggested (and is also the anniversary of when W proposed!). So now I'm scheduled for May 9th at 10am! Which is less than one frickin' month away!!!

Insanity.

In other news, I was at BRU yesterday returning some stuff we don't need for some stuff we do, and when I was at the register, the manager offered me a deal on some diapers that had been returned. They were out of the box, but still in the wrappers. 192 dipes for $15!! I don't know how much diapers cost, but I knew that was a steal! It was kind of weird, though. Buying baby stuff like boppies and blankets is one thing, but DIAPERS? Moms buy those.

Also, I wanted to change my countdown thing to reflect the c-section date, but for some reason I can't find link to edit my Blogger Template/Layout. Anyone??

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

33 week update

I suck at titles these days. Anyhoo - we had an ultrasound this morning and things are looking really good in there! Our girl is 4 lbs, 7 oz and the little man is 4 lbs, 4 oz. That's like real live baby-sized! Smallish, but still! They have been holding tight in the same positions for the past two months (she's breech and he's transverse) so I'm not holding out too much hope for a vaginal delivery, but you never know! I've been getting (and googling) advice on how to encourage her to turn, so hopefully something will work. Otherwise, we're looking at 5/14 for a scheduled c-section. I should probably make sure my doctor's going to be around then, but assuming he is, we like that date. I'll be 38.5 weeks at that point and probably ready to burst. My cervix measured 4.5cm today, so I feel as confident as I can (for a total pregnancy rube) that I should be able to hang on til week 39.

We finally got a wee glimpse of the little man's face. Here he is all squnched up, apparently sucking on his knee. Clearly he's more flexible than either of his parents! For those who find r0rschach tests easier to decipher than these ultrasound pics (like me), he is giving us a profile shot, with his head on the far right of the picture. You can see his eye socket, a (kind of gigantic) schnozz, and his puffy cheek, and then his leg is the curved thing w/ the knee right near his mouth. The tech also said she could see that he's got some hair. We couldn't make that out, though. I honestly think they just make shit up at these appointments. I know she's a trained technician and all that, but how does she identify these blobs so quickly?? Ok, here he is...MY BLOB:


Even though it's been uncomfortable at times (like most of the time) and I'm ready to move on to the next phase, pregnancy has provided W and I with some funny moments. For instance, this morning before our u/s, just parking the car made for a bit o'hilarity. There was a huge cement column between me and the next car and for a few moments I thought I might be trapped on the wrong side of things. I had to hold on and squish in my belly to squeeze between the car and the column. W was just laughing hysterically, as there was nothing he could do. There was no space in front of the car to get around either. I suppose I could have gotten in the back seat and slid across, but with my 50+ pounds gained (yeah, baby!) the scooting would have been no easy feat. I dissolved into such a fit of laughter, that of course I started snorting, which echoed throughout the garage. Classy.

One weird thing was that I had a little spotting after the cervix check. My ob nurse said that it's just because of the wand. It hasn't happened before, so it's definitely a little concerning, but it's tapering off, and I have an ob appointment tomorrow, so I'm trying not to worry about it. I know there's still that polyp there, so I will just assume that it got irritated.

I also have my mid-week day off tomorrow, which I'm very excited about. Last week's was so lovely. I just hung out all by my lonesome. That is the best, isn't it? I mean, not all the time, but on occasion just being alone is so great. I actually am a little worried about the fact that it will be a long, long time before I get a day all to myself. Of course, one might point out that I DID ask for this influx of permanent company and I totally agree! I'm so excited, but parenthood definitely does come with sacrifices and that's going to be a big one for me.

In other exciting work news, I think we found the temp who will replace me. I will feel lots better about that, and will be able to bow out gracefully at the end of next week. Actually, probably more like Monday, 4/21, because we have a big event that day and I don't want the poor temp to be overwhelmed. I do feel kind of bad perpetuating this myth that I'm coming back, but I don't have much choice since I'd like to take advantage of the short term disability and all that.

I had another enlightening observation to make, but alas, it has escaped me. I guess typing a bunch of boring shit tends to erase all the important thoughts from ones head. Damn.

Update: As I sit here on the couch needing to pee for the 47th time and dreadfully sad about how difficult it is to extract myself from this godforsaken piece of shit, I am cruising Jezebel and found this. For a mere $13??? I'm seriously considering it...